The President's Daughter
by a-little-bit-enamoured
Summary: The daughter of Clay and Gemma Morrow has done her best to distance herself from the club but when duty calls she has no choice but to answer the call. Can she maintain her distance from a certain club member that broke her heart? **Disclaimer** I don't own sons only my OC. Rated M for later content.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So my regular leading ladies have been alluding me lately and Kat has taken over my thoughts to some degree. In truth I've been suffering a little writers block when it comes to my other stories but this one has taken over my thoughts. I have a few chapters written and ready to go so please review and let me know what you think about where this may be going. And please know I haven't abandoned my other stories I just need to feel them again ...**

1/

I groaned at the persistent buzzing on the nightstand beside my head and rolled over to silence it yet again. Whoever it was could wait I thought as the early morning sun crept around the sides of the drawn curtains. I yawned and pressed my head into the pillow ready to welcome sleep.

"Oh for Christ sake!" I muttered as my phone once again began to buzz. Reaching over to grab it with the intention of throwing it against the wall I saw the caller display and the four missed calls from the same number. I sighed and placed the phone against my ear.

"Hey Mom." I answered sleepily stifling a yawn.

"Oh hey baby. Thank god you finally answered." My mother's voice rang out on the other end, more frantic than I was used to hearing it.

"I just came off night shift Mom. What's so important?"

"I know you did baby. I'm sorry but I really need you to help me out with something." She said quickly as if it would make me agree to do it faster.

I sighed. "What's that Mom?"

"There's someone here who needs you to patch them up." She answered an element of guilt in her voice. I wasn't sure whether it was from tearing me from much needed sleep or had something to do with the person who needed my help.

"Christ Mom. Can't Tara do it?" I groaned sleepily.

"Not this time sweetheart. I really need it to be you." She persisted.

"Mom you know I hate coming around the clubhouse." I protested.

"I'm not at the clubhouse baby. I'm at Grandpa's house." She answered, her words tearing the last of my sleepiness from me.

"What? Why are you there? Is Grandpa okay? It's not him that needs me is it?" I asked in a rush.

"Grandpa's fine baby. Well as fine as he can be considering. No, it's not him." She assured me.

"Then who is it Mom?" I sighed.

"It's not important who baby. Please can you just come?" She continued to persist.

I glanced at my pillow longingly and thought of the desperation that was present in my mother's voice. She was usually so calm and collected. "Sure Mom." I said with a sigh. "Just give me a few minutes to get dressed and caffeinated and I'll be there in a few hours, medical bag in tow."

"Thank you so much baby." She said relief clearly evident in her voice.

"I'll see you soon Mom." I sighed as I ended the call.

I rubbed at my eyes as I dragged myself out of the bed I had only just crawled into and began to wonder what it was I had agreed to. I'd done my best to distance myself from the club in recent years having grown up mostly away from it and becoming headlong embroiled in it upon my return to Charming. I'd been glad when Jax had begun dating Tara again. It meant I was no longer called upon to fix their medical emergencies and let's face it. It was more often than not _him_ who required my help. What was so special about this time that Tara couldn't do it? And why was Mom suddenly at Grandpa's place when she'd spent so little time there over the years? Even when I lived there for so many years, she had rarely visited, choosing instead to spend hours on the phone with me instead. I knew growing up that it was mom's falling out with Grandma Rose that kept her away but I knew she still hadn't visited since her passing either.

In many ways I could understand why. Grandma Rose was a very hard woman to get along with especially as I'd gotten older. She couldn't cope with seeing me grow up and I knew she was comparing me to my mother and the choices she had made. At sixteen I had begged Mom and Dad to allow me to move back to Charming, I knew breaking Grandpa Nate's heart in doing so. It had been Dad who had insisted it was for my own safety that from the age of five, I be raised away from Charming by my grandparents, but I knew now that the controversy surrounding my birth was the real reason. As I grew from a baby to a toddler it had become obvious that I was not a Teller as my birth certificate claimed but instead a Morrow; revealing to all just how long Gemma's affair with Clay, who I now knew to be my Dad not just my step father, had been going on.

I stepped into the bathroom and flicked the shower on, allowing the water to heat up as I peeled my pajamas off, before stepping into the scalding water. I let the heat stream over me and melt the tiredness from my bones as my thoughts turned once again to her mom's phone call as I pulled my fingers through my long blonde hair. I knew the club had been on lock down recently and I'd purposely rearranged my work schedule just so I wouldn't have to be at the clubhouse. I preferred having Happy camped out in the waiting room or parked on the sofa while I slept. I knew he was a man of few words and wouldn't bother me with any details I had no desire to hear. But now having just come off a week of night shift I knew something extreme must be going on for Mom to have called and the anxiousness I'd heard in her voice had been something I hadn't expected. My mother, Gemma Teller-Morrow, always had it together even in the face of massive club drama.

I flicked the water off, dressed and ran a brush through my hair before making my way to the living room of my small apartment, expecting to find Happy asleep on the sofa. I frowned when I saw he wasn't there. He'd been tailing me for the past week. I went back to my room and grabbed my phone from where I'd dropped it and began dialing his number as I made my way back to the kitchen to turn the coffee pot on.

"Hey Kat." Came his gravelly answer on the first ring.

"Where are you? I thought you'd still be here." I asked.

"You don't need a tail anymore Kat. Dangers passed." He explained.

"Oh? What's going on with Mom then? She's up in Oregon at Grandpa Nate's and sounds super anxious. That's not like her."

"Look some stuff went down the past few days you should probably know about."

"Hap I don't wanna know okay? You know I don't get involved with club stuff."

"I don't think you can avoid it this time babe." He graveled down the phone. "Abel's been kidnapped and your mom's on the lamb."

"What? What the actual fuck Happy? Are you for real?" I burst down the phone.

"Yes Kat. I'm for real."

"Abel's been kidnapped? By who? And what's mom on the run from? Why is she up at Grandpa's?" I asked, I knew talking too quickly, also knowing he was unlikely to answer my questions.

"Too many questions Kat. You want answers ask your mom."

"Yeah I will. I'm headed up there now."

"You are? Why?"

"I don't know. She called me saying someone needed patching but I guess maybe she just needs the emotional support being she can't be in Charming right now."

"She doesn't know about Abel Kat."

"She doesn't know? How come?"

"She's under too much other stress right now Kat. Go be there for her, whatever she needs. Just don't tell her about Abel okay?"

"Shit Hap! How the hell do I keep that from her?"

"Same way the rest of us have. Just don't mention it."

"Yeah okay." I answered letting out a sighing breath. "Are you tailing me up there?" I asked half wishing he'd say yes.

"Nah. You'll be fine. We've got stuff to take care of here."

"Yeah of course you have." I said quietly.

"I gotta go. Take care Kat." Happy said quickly but I knew he meant it and did have a genuine interest in my welfare.

"You too." I said with a sigh before hitting end on the call. I closed my eyes and steadied myself against the kitchen counter realizing that this time I was going to be unable to avoid getting dragged back into the club.

I pulled into the driveway of my grandfather's house for the first time since Grandma Rose's funeral, surprised not to be immediately greeted by my mother. My car was less than quiet but the front door remained closed until I knocked on at which point it was wrenched open as if she'd been standing there in wait.

"Kat baby. Thank you so much for coming sweetheart." Mom gushed pulling me towards her into a big uncharacteristic hug.

"What the hell is going on Mom? Happy said your on the lamb?" I asked drawing away from her embrace.

"I'll explain later sweetheart." She said somewhat evasively. "Right now I need your doctor expertise baby."

"Who am I patching up?" I sighed.

"Tig baby." Gemma said turning and heading toward the hallway.

"Wait what? You could have told me it was him Mom!" I protested.

"I thought maybe you wouldn't come if I did."

I sighed. "You know I would have Mom. A little heads up might have been nice though."

"Sorry baby. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it."

"It's okay Mom. What happened to him?"

"He got shot."

"He what? By who?"

"Your grandfather. It might be better if he explains it to you." Mom answered with a dryness to her voice as we neared the spare bedroom that had once been her own, and then mine many years later. "I need you to dig the slug out of his shoulder sweetheart. I gave him some of Rose's vicoden that I found still in the bathroom cabinet."

"Oh great so he's gonna be off his face too then?" I asked sarcastically as I entered the bedroom.

Tig sat on the edge of the bed and turned at the sound of my voice. "Hey Kitty Kat! You here to get this slug outta my shoulder babe?"

"Don't call me that Tig." I snapped dropping my doctor's bag on the bed beside him as I began examining the wound at the back of his shoulder blade.

"Aww c'mon Doll. You used to like it."

"Used to Tig. Not anymore." I answered dryly.

"You want me to leave you to it Kat?" Mom asked from beside me.

"No Mom. I'll need your help with this. I need something like an old sheet or towel that you don't mind getting blood on and something I can put the bullet into once I get it out."

"Sure sweetheart. I'll be right back." Gemma said leaving myself and Tig alone momentarily.

"Kitty Kat," Tig began.

"Stay still Tig." I interrupted him pulling a sterile pack of surgical instruments from my bag. "This is gonna hurt despite how high you must be on Grandma's vicoden." I tore open the pack and pulled out a pair of tweezers which I began carefully digging into his shoulder.

I held his shoulder still as he grimaced slightly at the pain. "How'd this happen anyway?" I asked more in an attempt to distract him rather than any desire to know.

"You're grandfather shot me." He answered shortly clearly having no desire to elaborate on his answer.

"Why the hell did Grandpa shoot you?" I asked secretly praising my grandfather for doing something I had always wished I could after he'd trampled all over my heart.

"He thought I was …. thought I was having sex with Rose."

"He what? I know you're into all sorts of sick stuff Tig but how in the hell could he have thought that? Grandma's dead!"

Tig sighed. "It was his carer that I was having sex with Kitty Kat. You're grandfather is a very confused man. It's the dementia."

"Okay. Whatever. More than I needed to hear Tig." I said brushing aside his continued use of the nickname I used to love hearing coming from his lips.

"You asked Doll."

"Yeah. Didn't mean I wanted to hear it though."

"Kitty Kat. I'm sorry Doll." he said sounding genuine.

"You got nothing to apologize for Tig. It's not like we're together anymore."

"But Kitty Kat."

"And let me guess she's Spanish?" I found myself interrupting him spitefully.

"Guatemalan." He answered with a sigh.

"Figures. It always was the little Spanish hotties wasn't it Tig?" I asked as I finally managed to dig the bullet from his shoulder, pressing in a little harder and further than I perhaps needed to.

"Kat. You know I'm sorry." He said with a grimace, I knew this time not in regard to his recent bedroom escapades.

I closed my eyes and blinked back tears I didn't want him to see. "Save it Tig." I said cleaning up the surgical equipment and wrapping it in the old rag Mom had left when she had returned to the room and quickly left again, no doubt hoping that Tig and I were finally talking about the animosity between us.

"Fine." He answered in defeat, not for the first time.

"Look Tig. I'm here to do Mom a favor in patching you up, not reminisce about how it used to be between us okay?"

"We were good together Kitty Kat." He said running the hand of his good arm through his mop of untamed curls.

"Were." I answered closing up my bag. "Now if you don't mind I'm gonna go talk to Mom about all the shit that's gone down in Charming."

"Kat." He called me back. "You know about Abel?" He asked.

"Yeah. Happy mentioned it." I answered knowing what the mention of the other man's name would do to him.

"Yeah, course he did." Tig answered, I knew trying to hide the pang of jealousy that rose up within him whenever I mentioned his brother's name. "Gem doesn't know okay?"

"I know she doesn't. Don't worry. I'm not about to tell her," I said leaving the room but not before taking in the dejected form of the man who still sat on the corner of the bed.

There was nothing going on between me and Happy these days but I didn't mind at all making Tig believe that there was.


	2. Chapter 2

2/

"So why are you here Mom?" I asked as I entered the kitchen, done with once again patching up Tig.

Gemma sighed. "Your Grandmother, even after she's gone is still pulling the strings. Grandpa's going into a home. She organized it before she died."

"Oh? Does he know? He loves it here."

"Yeah. He knows. I'm not sure that he remembers what's going on half the time, but he knows."

"And what Happy told me? About you being on the run? What's going on Mom?"

"That bitch Stahl, set me up."

"For what?"

"Murder."

"What? Oh my God Mom! What the hell happened?"

"It doesn't matter sweetheart. Your dad will sort it out." Gemma said with a small smile, that I didn't believe for a moment.

"Is Nate okay to drive?" Tig asked as he entered the kitchen and picked up the coffee pot.

"What? Why?" Mom asked snapping her gaze toward him.

"I ah heard a car about 20 minutes ago. I think it was him." Tig explained.

"Shit." Mom swore rising from her seat and the table and leaving the room in a hurry.

I exchanged a brief glance with Tig before deliberately avoiding his gaze.

"He took his damned hunting rifle." Mom declared as she came back through the kitchen heading toward the front door. I rose to my feet and quickly followed her. "The caddy's gone." She sighed as she stood on the front porch.

"Is he okay to drive?" I asked from behind her. With everything that had gone on since I arrived I hadn't yet laid eyes on my grandfather.

"It depends on which century he thinks his cruising in." Gemma answered dryly running her hand through her hair. "Where would he go damn it?" She continued growing frantic.

"I think I know where he may have gone." I answered, heading back inside to grab my keys from where they sat on the kitchen counter. "I'll go after him."

"I'll come with you if you like." Tig said following me back out to my Dodge Charger where it sat in the driveway.

"No Tig." I said opening the driver's side door.

"Kitty Kat." He began.

"Tig this is'nt about us or what is or isn't going on between us okay? I have to do this on my own. I don't know what sort of state Grandpa is in and apparently your not his favorite person right now."

"True." He responded with a sigh.

"If he's where I think he is then I won't be gone very long."

"Okay Kat." he said, reaching out a hand and running his thumb down the side of my cheek, a long drawn look on his face. I knew he hated what was going on between us, and hell I wouldn't mind betting that my mother's reasoning for calling me here instead of Tara had something to do with forcing us to talk but I'd be damned if I was going to let him walk all over me again.

I pulled my car to a stop in the parking lot of the nearby botanical gardens. I knew if Grandpa was here somewhere he would no doubt have heard my car approach. Everyone did. I climbed out of it and started down to the bank of the duck pond. I knew it was his favorite spot to go when he needed time to himself.

I felt my heart leap in my chest and fear caught in my throat when I saw him sitting on a fallen tree at the edge of the duck pond, the tip of his hunting rifle held against his chin. I drew in a startled breath as I approached him cautiously.

"Grandpa?" I said quietly, distracting him from his no doubt heavy thoughts. He cast his gaze toward me as he lowered the tip of the rifle, a confused look in his eye. He didn't recognize me.

"Grandpa. It's Katherine. Do you remember me?" I asked quietly as I cautiously continued my approach towards him.

"Yes. Yes. Katherine. Of course I do. You were always a good girl." He said lowering the rifle further, recognition flooding his eyes.

"Can I take the gun please Grandpa? You don't need it." I said stretching my hand out toward him.

"What did I do Katherine? Did I kill someone?" He asked as he allowed me to take the gun from his hands as I took a seat beside him.

"No Grandpa. Tig is fine."

"Who's that?"

"The man that you shot. He's going to be fine."

"I thought he was hurting your grandma. I thought he was hurting Rose, but well he couldn't have been could he?" He said in a moment of clarity.

"No Grandpa."

"She's not ever coming back is she?"

"No Grandpa, she's not."

"I miss her Katherine. Every day I miss her. Why do I keep fooling myself into believing that she's still here?" Nate said, his heartbreak evident in his voice.

"Your mind isn't the same as it used to be Grandpa." I said quietly, my heart breaking at the memories of growing up with him and what this horrible disease was now doing to him.

"You were always a good girl Katherine. I remember that." He said with a small smile toward me.

I smiled back, a sad smile. I knew that even before I'd moved back to Charming his dementia had been starting to rear it's ugly head. If it hadn't been he would have remembered the screaming matches I had begun to have with Grandma Rose. "C'mon Grandpa we should be getting back. Mom will be worried about where you are." I said.

"Yes. Yes we should. Rose will be worried too." He said rising slowly to his feet as he steadied himself against me.

I sighed, as I took his arm in mine and led him up the bank to his car, his moment of clarity gone and the continued confusion of his condition returned. "Are you okay to drive back Grandpa? I can follow you in my car."

"Yes. Yes Katherine. I'll be fine," he said pulling the keys from his pocket as we neared his car.

I gave him a small sad smile as I made my way toward my own car and unlocked the door.

"Nate and Kat are back." Tig said looking out the kitchen window.

"Oh thank god!" Gemma exclaimed as she walked quickly toward the front door wrenching it open as Nate stepped up onto the porch.

"Dad! Where were you? Are you okay?" She asked trying to embrace him.

He brushed her aside. "Where's Rose? I need to talk to her." He said walking past her into the house. "Rose?" He called as he walked toward the hallway.

"He's fine Mom." I said making my way up the front steps behind him. "Just as confused as ever but physically fine."

"Where was he?" Gemma asked.

"At the botanical gardens. It's where he used to always go when he was done with me and Grandma fighting." I said quietly still somewhat ashamed of the last year I had spent living in this house.

"Don't beat yourself up Kat. She was a hard woman to live with. I should never have agreed to you living here."

"It's okay Mom. I'm glad you did." I said with a glance toward Tig. It had been on my return to Charming at just sixteen years old that I had first become involved with him.

He returned my glance acknowledging the young innocence that he knew he had taken from me. "I ah, should check in with Clay." He said excusing himself from the room.

"So where was his carer when he slipped off before?" I asked breaking the silence and getting in before Mom could ask what was going on between me and Tig.

"Oh, she's not taking care of him anymore." Gemma said avoiding my gaze.

"Mom? What aren't you telling me?" I asked, recognizing in an instant the avoidance in her answer.

"Tig's little hottie found out about the bounty on my head and got an idea to go cash in on it." Gemma answered still avoiding my gaze.

"And what did you do?" I asked suspicion rising in my tone.

"Relax sweetheart. I didn't kill her. She's just bound and tied up in the basement."

"Mom! For Christ sake!"

"What? I couldn't very well let her go turn me in could I?"

"I guess not." I sighed. "So are you gonna leave her there?"

"I suppose I'll cut her loose once my name is cleared."

"And how long is that going to take?"

"No idea." Gemma answered. "Speaking of her, I suppose the bitch probably needs to pee." She said heading toward the kitchen doorway only to run into Tig.

"Clay wants to talk to you Gem." he said holding his phone out to her.

Gemma sighed turning to me. "Kat could you..." she trailed off.

I knew she was asking me to go see to the needs of the Guatemalan hottie Tig had been banging.

"Sure Mom." I sighed, not missing the confused glance Tig gave me.

I wasn't sure what to expect as I descended the basement stairs, the light slowly creeping away behind me. I swiped my hands out in front of me once I got to the bottom feeling for the light string that I knew was there. I pulled it and flooded the dark room with instant light.

I felt a pang of jealousy as I saw the young south American woman blind folded and bound with duct tape to a wheelchair in the center of the room. _So this is the latest woman Tig had been banging? I_ pushed the thought from my mind. What did I care?

"Who's there?" the young accented voice asked.

"I'm Kat. Gemma's daughter. She sent me to check on you." I answered as I continued to gaze curiously upon her.

"Thank Christ! I was desperate to pee like an hour ago." The woman stated.

I reached for the pan and handed it her noticing that her fingers were nearly blue. Damn it Mom. I thought as I looked down at them. She'd made the duct tape so tight around the woman's wrists that the circulation had all but been cut off.

"How are your hands feeling?" I asked.

"I can't see them but I'm guessing their a nice shade of purple." She answered.

I sighed. "I'll free one hand until the blood flows back in and then the other."

"Thank you." She said sincerely. "I'm Amelia by the way."

"Just don't try anything stupid." I said as I grabbed an old knife from the workbench beside me.

I gazed upon her sitting in front of me blindfolded, while I cut the tape that bound her right wrist and then handed her the bed pan. What was it about women like her that had Tig going back for more again and again? I thought as I gently massaged her fingers to encourage blood flow. She was young and dark haired, flawless dark features; a total contrast to my own features; clearly everything that turned Tig on.

"Could you um?" She asked awkwardly interrupting my thoughts as she handed the now filled bed panme the bed pan.

"Oh Yeah. Of course." I took it from her and turned away to empty it into the sink.

I rolled my eyes, once again pushing Tig from my thoughts as I stupidly turned my back on the woman. I wasn't fast enough to turn around when I heard the sound of the tape on her other wrist being torn off and gasped as something hard was smacked into he back of my head.

I dropped to the ground seeing stars before my eyes as I heard her scuttling up the stairs to the house above.

I squeezed my eyes open and shut a few times in an effort to see straight. The force of the impact had knocked me down but not out. I placed my hand to the throbbing pain at the back of my head as I pushed myself up from the ground with the other. I half wondered whether the bitch had given me a concussion as I struggled to see straight.

I heard Mom cry out at the top of the stairs. I pushed myself up from the ground and made my way up the stairs to the rest of the house above.

"Where are the keys to Nate's car?" I heard Amelia demand as I rounded the corner of the basement doorway to see her holding a knife held against my mothers neck her back pressed hard against the linen closet.

I grabbed the first thing that I saw, a large oversized gold hand sculpture; God knows why my grandfather had such a thing; and swung it hard into the side of Amelia's head. Mom took the opportunity to try to get away but Amelia recovered quickly and lunged toward her with the knife. I grabbed her shoulder and pushed her against the wall and heard her gasp as the knife she held sank into her own chest. She dropped to the ground, blood pooling across the front of the white t shirt she wore. Mom sank to her knees and felt the woman's neck for a pulse. I sank down beside her and did the same.

"Oh my god. She's … she's dead." I gasped shocked at what I had just done. I looked across to my mother over the dead body between us. "What do we do I asked?" My voice shaking.

"Only thing we can do. Tell Tig. He'll clean it up." She said rising from the floor and heading out of the hallway.

"I leave you girls alone for ten minutes!" Tig lamented as he stood at the sink washing the knife that moments ago had been sunken into the chest cavity of his latest conquest.

I watched him sink to his knees to the cupboard below the kitchen sink and pull out a bottle of bleach. I knew it should have unsettled me that he knew exactly what to do when it came to cleaning up blood, not to mention probably a dead body.

"Any ideas?" Mom asked from where she stood behind me. Her hands mussing through my hair just below where I held a cold compress to the quickly forming lump on the side of my head.

"The club can't know." I added.

"This is the last thing the club needs." Mom agreed.

"Then we need to work fast. They're making that run for the Irish. They're gonna be up here tomorrow." Tig responded, clearly thinking on his feet.

I sighed as Mom moved away and Tig took her place behind me. I didn't brush his hand away as he placed it upon my shoulder. "Bachman." He said suddenly. "He could be here in about an hour."

"The cleaner guy?" Mom asked, looking up from where she had taken a seat beside me.

"Yeah. He's independent. Works for around two or three grand but he's good."

"There's not that much cash lying around here." Mom said. "Will he take jewelry?"

"I'll call him." Tig said pulling his phone out.

"Keep my Dad busy. We'll handle her." Mom said with a sigh turning toward me.

"We will?" I asked.

"Yeah. You decided to let her hands breathe. Help me move her back to the basement."

I sighed as I watched Tig leave the room surprised at the relief I felt that he was here to help us out of this mess.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So introduced in this chapter is the first of what will be several flashbacks of Tig and Kat's past and what led them to where they are now. I'm going to try to keep them chronological and try to fit them in with Kat's current thinking or situation and how she may be feeling about either the present or the past in any particular moment. Thanks for your thoughts and support on this story and please continue to let me know what you think ... :)**

3/

The 'cleaner guy' as Mom had called him was certainly strange, creepy in fact. I could tell he even irked Tig so I knew that was saying something but he did what we paid him to do. There was no trace left of Amelia. I didn't want to even think about how that was possible.

I sighed and excused myself from the lounge room after he'd left and made my way to my old room. Tig's blood still stained the sheets. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before pulling the sheets from the bed and taking them to the laundry. Damn it. Why was I letting him get to me like this? I'd ended things years ago and I'd made it clear I had no intention of letting him close ever again.

I picked up my cell from where it lay on the nightstand and saw I had a missed call from Happy. I sighed, wondering why he'd have called. There was more to my relationship with Happy than meets the eye. He was there for me when I ended things with Tig and it hadn't been long before I found myself in his bed. It was casual, no strings attached sex. I'm sure most of the club knew about it but they said nothing. And I know Tig knew.

I toyed with my phone in my hands before returning Happy's call.

"Hey Babe." He answered. I didn't realize until I heard his raspy voice on the other end how much I needed to hear it.

"Hey Hap. You called?" I said trying to hide the relief from my voice.

"Yeah. I wanted to see if you were okay. Heard about Tig. He who Gemma wanted you to patch up?"

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I know you still think about him Kat. His infidelity? Having it thrust in front of you like that ..."

"I'm fine Happy." I interrupted him, my voice catching in my throat. The truth was I wasn't fine and Happy knew it. Despite any relationship we had being just about sex he knew me better than I'd ever realized. "Are you coming up here tomorrow?" I asked changing the subject.

"Yeah I'll be there." he rasped.

"Well I'll see you then I guess."

"Hang in there Kat."

"Yeah I will."

I ended the call and placed my cell back on the nightstand before unfolding the sheets I'd fetched from the linen closet on my way back to the room. There was a knock on the door as I began putting the new sheets onto the bed.

"Kitty Kat?" Came Tig's voice through the door. "Are you in there?"

I sighed at hearing him call me that. There was a reason I'd made a point of staying away from the clubhouse in recent times. I knew how much I had loved him and Happy was right. I couldn't stand seeing him with anyone else. I also didn't trust myself left alone with him.

"Yeah. You can come in Tig." I answered him knowing that being the current predicaments that faced the club I was going to have no choice about getting dragged back in. I also knew that meant Tig I would need to address our past.

"Listen Kat, I wanted to say thanks, you know for patching me up and all."

"You're welcome." I said quietly as I sat on the bed. "Thanks for taking care of a dead body for me."

"You're welcome too." he said with a small grin.

"Look Tig, I know that's not all that you came in here to talk about."

"I miss you Kitty Kat."

"Were you thinking about how much you missed me every time you banged somebody else?"

"That's not fair Kat."

"No what's not fair is how you treated me Tig. I believed you when you said you loved me. I thought I could trust you. You told me I was the only one and then you threw it all back in my face."

"Kitty Kat I did love you. I still do baby girl."

"That didn't stop you from trampling all over my heart did it?" I answered him trying hard to push back the tears that came along with the memories he was forcing me to address.

"I never meant to hurt you Doll."

"Well you did and you know it; time and time again." I said turning my head away from him. I knew it was only a matter of time before my tears spilled over.

He took my hand in his and traced his thumb up and down the back of it. "Words aren't enough to tell you how sorry I am Katherine." he said quietly, his lips so close to my ear I could feel his breath hot upon it.

"Don't Tig." I said quietly turning to face him, a tear trickling from the corner of my eye. Only in our most intimate moments together had he called me Katherine.

"I still remember that first day you showed up back on the lot Kitty Kat. You changed my life."

I turned to face him, I swallowed back the lump in my throat and pulled my hand away from his. "Go please Tig." I said quietly.

"Kat, I ..."

"Tiggy please? Just leave." I said fighting back my tears as best I could.

He did as I asked and rose from the bed but before he left the room he stood in front of me and chipped my chin up to meet his gaze. "I still love you Kitty Kat." he murmured before turning and leaving the room not looking back.

With the door now closed behind him I finally let my tears fall. I loved him. God damn it. I still loved him but had he ever really loved me?

* * *

 _I'd been a little nervous about my return home. I had after all been gone eleven years and as much as my parents hated to admit it I wasn't a little girl anymore._

 _I took a deep breath and bit my lip as I threw my leg over Jax's bike and placed it down onto the tarmac of the lot. He got off and placed an arm around my shoulders before lowering his lips and kissing the top of my head. "Clay's in the clubhouse waiting for you. Stay out of trouble alright?"_

 _I let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm not going to be any trouble Jax." I said to my older brother who had taken it upon himself to come and collect me. He had been patched in last fall and as the end of summer approached was nearing a year as a fully patched member. Opie also. I knew my dad had let it fall to them to look out for me upon my return._

" _Yeah right. I heard all the stories of the trouble you caused Grandma."_

" _That's because she wouldn't let me go anywhere."_

" _Whatever. Just go see Dad." He said with a quick tightening of his hug before dropping his arm and heading off toward the garage as mom's car rolled into the lot. I knew she had all my belongings and would expect me to accompany her back home soon but dad had insisted Jax bring me to the lot first and I was glad he had as I spied Chibs coming out of it._

 _I smiled as I headed toward him._

" _Kat darlin'. I'd heard you were comin' home. It's been far too long sweetheart." he greeted me, enveloping me in his arms._

" _Hardly my choice to not be here." I answered knowing that the controversy surrounding my birth had been swept aside in the years I'd been gone._

" _Still it's good to have you back." He said ruffling my hair like he had when I was a little kid. He caught the scowl I gave him. "You're still a kid in my book Kat. Stay out of trouble."_

 _I sighed as he stepped away. Why did everyone keep saying that I thought as I pushed open the clubhouse door and that was when I saw him sitting at the bar next to my father. He had a mop of untamed dark curls, perfect facial hair and those eyes as he met my gaze; they were the most tantalizing shade of blue I had ever seen. I knew he hadn't been around before I was shipped away and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued by this dark and handsome stranger._

" _Kat baby!" Dad greeted me as he rose from his seat at the bar and pulled me against his chest. I breathed in the familiar smell of leather and cigarettes that I'd always associated with my father. "It's so good to have you back baby."_

" _Is it really?" I couldn't help but ask as I drew away from him. I knew it was only at my insistence that he had agreed for me to return home._

" _Of course it is sweetheart. It's not such a great time around here at the moment but of course we're all glad you're back. Your mother and I missed you."_

 _I smiled. "I missed you both too Daddy."_

 _He placed his arm around my shoulders and steered me toward the bar where the dark haired man I was so intrigued about still sat, his beguiling eyes still on me. "Kat, this is Tig. Tig my daughter Kat."_

 _I couldn't help but blush a little as he extended his hand toward me. "Tig's my_ _S_ _ergeant at Arms."_ _D_ _ad continued as I took Tig's hand surprised at the warmth of his grip. "His duties extend to looking out for you now that your back."_

" _Oh? I thought that would be Jax and Opie." I commented as I dropped my hand from Tig's grasp and stole another glance at those eyes._

" _Nah." Tig was the one to respond. I swallowed and bit my lip at the sound of his voice. "they're still young._ _T_ _hey're not up to the task of watching the President's daughter." He answered with a smirk._ _I thought I caught an insinuation in his voice._

" _I'll let you two get acquainted."_ _Dad said with a meaningful glance at Tig._ _"I gotta go find Bobby."_

 _I climbed onto the bar stool that_ _D_ _ad had left empty as Tig motioned for me to sit. I took a moment to admire his features again before I spoke breaking the awkward silence that had descended between us._

" _So you've been tasked with watching the President's daughter huh?" I asked with an intentional smirk._

" _Sure have. Been watching out for your mother for years; now that extends to you." He answered, the timbre of his voice deep, slightly raspy and ever so beguiling. I blushed as I noticed him look me up and down. Despite the growing ball of heat in the pit of my belly I knew I was nothing compared to the women that flocked the clubhouse. My long blond hair was pulled back into a school girls ponytail, my features flawless but young. The only thing that set me apart from other girls my age was my breasts; large on my petite frame. I caught his eyes lingering upon them._

" _You like what you see?" I flirted hoping I didn't sound like a desperate kid._

" _They may all see you as a kid Kitty Kat, but you're far from it." He answered._

 _I sucked in a breath at the meaning behind his words. He didn't see me as a kid which was exactly what I wanted. And that name Kitty Kat. No one had ever called me it before and I liked the way it rolled off his tongue so naturally._

" _So is that why you were staring?" I asked quietly, suddenly feeling shy._

" _You remind me of someone that's all." He answered looking away._

" _I remind you of someone? Or my boobs do?"_

" _You do." He said becoming serious all of a sudden. "Someone I used to know. You look so much like her."_

" _Is that a good thing?" I asked quietly not sure of the closed emotion I was being met with._

" _Yeah it's a good thing. Makes it easier to watch you." he answered meeting my gaze again._

" _Just how closely are you gonna be watching me?" I asked with an edge of flirtation to my voice._

" _It's my job to keep you safe. Nothing else." he said pushing away the glass of scotch he'd been nursing and rising from the bar._

 _I sighed knowing he had chosen to ignore the point of my question. Despite whoever it was I reminded him of he still saw me as a little kid. I knew in that moment that I was determined to make him see past that. I wanted to be more to him. I didn't want to be the innocent, doe eyed President's daughter. I wanted him to notice me and I wanted him._

* * *

I pushed away memories of that first day. He'd told me more about the mystery woman that I reminded him off as I'd weaseled and clambered my way into his heart and made him see there was more to me than the child everyone saw. He'd loved her perhaps more than he'd ever loved anyone.

I wondered if I'd been naive to ever believe I could mean more to him than her.


	4. Chapter 4

4/

I woke the next morning to a strange kind of silence stretching across the house. Despite the early hour I could hear someone moving about in the kitchen; probably Tig. He had always been an early riser. I knew this was probably the last day I would spend in this house; and Grandpa Nate's also. By days end he would be in the care facility that Grandma Rose had picked out before she died; a good thing too as Amelia was no longer here to care for him.

My spine tingled a little at the thoughts of what had happened the previous day. My skin still crawled at the thought of how that cleaner dude had made her completely disappear, but I supposed it was a good thing. Jax and the rest of the club could never know what we had done. Jax, my older half brother. I had barely seen him in years. Living in the same town you would think I would more often but I had made it clear after I completed med school that I wanted nothing to do with the club. After everything I'd been through with Tig and all the illegal shit I knew they were embroiled in I felt it best for my medical career to stay as far away from it as possible. To my surprise Mom had always backed me up on that; until now.

I rose and dressed, pulling on my favorite pair of jeans and a blue tank top. I pulled a sweater from my bag and thought about putting that on also before I spied my leather jacket lying discarded in the corner and chose to put that on instead.

"Morning Doll." Tig greeted me in a somewhat stoic manner as I entered the kitchen. I supposed I had brought it on myself by pushing him away the night before. "Coffee?" He asked pushing a mug toward me.

"Thanks." I smiled, quietly impressed that after all these years he remembered how I took it. I took a sip of the hot liquid. Perfect, hot and just enough sugary sweetness to combat the bitterness of the ground. "You still make the best coffee Tig."

He gave me a slight smirk back and I was reminded of how much I missed seeing that smirk directed at me. "Look Tig, I worked hard to get to where I am now and a lot of that was picking myself up after you left. I can't go through that again."

"I get that Kat but I meant what I said last night. There are no words that can tell you how sorry I am."

I nodded slowly. "Thank you for being honest Tig." I said. I knew him well enough to know there was nothing but honesty in his voice, his tone, even his eyes right now.

"Maybe we could take things slow, ease back into being together."

"Tiggy, I don't know ..."

"At least start hanging around the clubhouse a little more then."

"I'm not sure I'm gonna have any choice but to at the moment." I said as Mom walked into the room.

"I see you two are at least talking again." She commented as she made her way to the coffee pot.

"Yeah. So is grandpa all ready to go?" I asked deliberately changing the subject, knowing she knew it.

"I believe so." She answered with a heavy sigh.

"He's going to be well looked after Mom." I tried to reassure her.

"I know sweetheart. This is all just a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"Dad will be here soon to help you right?"

"Yeah. They should be here soon right Tiggy?" Mom asked. I knew how much she missed Dad whenever they were apart for longer than a few days.

"Yeah any moment now Gem." He said, brightening her mood with his words.

"I'm gonna go pack up the last of the stuff for the basement." I said placing my now empty coffee mug in the sink.

"Thanks sweetheart." Gemma said as I rose to leave the room.

I hung back in the hallway a moment to hear part of their conversation.

"Where are you two at?" Mom asked.

"I don't know Gem. She won't let me back in. I guess I hurt her pretty bad."

"I know you did. I was the one left picking up the pieces."

"You and Happy." I heard the scowl in his voice and could picture it on his face.

"She doesn't love him the way she loved you Tiggy. You were her entire world."

I sighed at my mother's words and continued toward the stairs. I hated to admit it but she was right.

* * *

 _He placed his hand on the band that held my hair tight at the nape of my neck and tugged at it letting my hair fall loose down my back. I bit my lip and gasped at his touch as he trailed his hand down my back._

 _I gasped as he brought his other hand to my cheek and ran his thumb across it. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" He asked me meeting my gaze._

 _I had no words. I could only nod as he took me into his arms and pressed his lips against mine. His lips were always so warm and soft. I was sixteen and had been back in Charming for a little over two months. Tig and I had been dancing in circles around our feelings for the most part of that time. It had been me that made the first move late one night out in the abandoned lot. Every moment since then had led to this._

 _He pressed his hand to the small of my back and used his other to hoist me into his arms using my upper thigh to do so. I pressed my lips against his as his carried me through the hallway to my room. He lowered me backwards down onto my bed and then prowled over me on all fours. I sucked in my breath as he pressed his lips against my neck and whimpered a little as I felt his teeth graze past my ear._

 _He pulled back and gazed into my eyes questioningly. I pushed his kutte from his shoulders and began undoing the buttons of his shirt, letting him know I was still okay with this. He pressed his lips hard against mine, kissing me with more intensity than he ever had. I drank in his taste as he slid his tongue into my mouth and relished the feel of his smooth skin beneath my fingers as I pushed his shirt down his arms. My heart was racing a million miles an hour and the heat in my belly and lady parts had risen to a near overwhelming crescendo as he pulled my tank top off over my head revealing my black lacy bra beneath. On account of my breast size I was forced to shop in the womens section. I saw a spark ignite in Tig's eyes as they rested upon it. I bit my lip knowing that my underwear below was simple and girly._

 _He cupped my breast in his hand as his lips continued to ravage mine. I toyed with his belt buckle, my fingers trying desperately to undo it. "Slow down Kitty Kat." He murmured against my lips as he brushed my fingers aside. "This is your first time yeah?" He asked quietly to which I nodded slowly with a small gasp as he circled my nipple with one finger._

" _Then let's take it slow and make it right." he said with more sincerity than I'd thought him capable of. What had begun a few months ago as a simple crush had developed into an overwhelming desire to be with him. I let a small smile fleet across my expression before a moan escaped my lips as he took my nipple into his mouth, sucking it hard._

 _I allowed his hands to caress, pinch and devour every part of my upper body until I could take no more. I lowered my hand to his belt buckle again, my eyes pleading with him to allow me to undo it this time. He didn't stop me as my hand continued to the button on his jeans and then to his fly. Sliding my hand down his hip I pushed them down, my fingers brushing over the tightness of his ass. He kicked his jeans off at the end of the bed before tracing his hand teasingly along the waistband of my own._

" _Please Tig. I'm ready for you." I moaned hardly believing the words come out of my mouth. The feelings and sensations raging through my body right now were beginning to overwhelm me. He undid my jeans and then slid them down my hips revealing my simple white panties beneath them. I thought I caught a flicker of doubt in his eyes before he pressed his lips hard against mine once more, plunging his tongue deep into my mouth as his hand reached behind to unclasp my bra and slide it down my arms._

 _I pushed his boxers down his hips and whimpered in growing anticipation as I felt his hard on brush against my thigh. He drew his lips away from mine and gazed into my eyes as he parted my thighs and ran his fingers across me through the white cotton of my panties. I moaned out a small whimpering gasp as I closed my eyes and allowed him to make my body feel things it never had before._

 _I bit my lip as I watched him fumble around in his wallet for a condom. He tore the packet open with his teeth and then slid it down the shaft of his overwhelmingly large member. I began to feel a nervous kind of fear rise up within me as he slid my panties down my hips. He must have seen the fear in my eyes because he lay beside me and kissed my lips so softly that my fear melted away at the tenderness of his touch. I knew he meant to make this special for me but I also sensed that going slow like this wasn't his style._

 _I gasped as I felt his finger brush delicately over my opening before sliding slowly in. the feeling as my walls involuntarily clamped around his finger took my breath away. I felt him slide another finger in, and then another, slowly stretching me, his lips still soft upon mine._

" _You ready?" he murmured softly against my lips as he slid his fingers from me and positioned himself over me resting his member between my thighs._

 _I nodded and managed a soft breathy 'yeah', before I felt his tip slide gently into where his fingers had been moments before. I gasped as I felt my walls stretch further around him as he pressed gently and slowly further into me. His eyes never left mine as he watched my reaction. He felt amazing and warm inside of me until I felt a sharp scrapping pain like something had snapped inside me. I gasped in pain and I knew he saw it in my eyes before I made a sound. He kissed my lips softly again before sliding out of me and then slowly back in. the pain was brief and before I knew he was guiding me slowly to my first orgasm. I couldn't help but cry out as my insides tingled and burned like I'd never felt before._

" _Oh Christ Tig! Oh Christ!" I moaned loudly as the tingling exploded into fireworks inside of me._

" _Shit Kitty Kat!" He swore as my walls tightened almost impossibly harder around him. I felt his hips shudder at his release and he pressed his lips hard against mine as he slid from me._

 _I lay gasping below him once he drew his lips from mine. His expression was almost unreadable but his eyes were smiling. I knew he was thinking over and perhaps regretting what we'd just done. I reached up and placed my hand against the back of his neck and pulled his lips back to mine. He returned my kiss for a moment before pushing himself up from the bed and leaning down to retrieve his jeans and boxers. "I should go before your mom gets home." he said as he began pulling them on._

 _I nodded as I watched him buckle his belt. I bit my lip having no idea of what he was thinking about what had just happened. He buttoned his shirt and then lent down to kiss my lips one last time before picking up his kutte and moving toward the door._

" _Change your sheets and take a shower." He said as he placed his hand against it._

" _Okay." I said quietly._

" _I'll call you later okay?" He said a small smile flicking across his expression, as he opened my bedroom door._

 _I smiled and nodded, pleased that he didn't seem to regret what we'd just done._

* * *

I picked up an ornament and tried to push my memories aside. I knew even after that first time I was already falling for him. Whether it was his bad boy image, or his inane quirkiness or something else I wasn't sure. All I'd known in that moment was that I hoped my schoolgirl fantasies of Tig and I developing into something more weren't about to come crashing down.

I heard the approach of dad and the rest of the guys before I saw them and it tore me from my thoughts. I glanced out the bedroom window down towards the driveway to watch them come rolling in.

I put aside the ornament in my hand and headed out of the room down the stairs two at a time to greet them.

Mom and Tig were already outside. Mom was in Dad's arms, his lips pressed possessively against hers. I stood silently beside Tig and smiled at how much my parents obviously loved each other. I looked across the yard to lock eyes with my older brother who looked kind of uncomfortable at their display of affection.

I smiled at him as our eyes met. He returned my smile and started toward me. "Hey Kat." He said placing his arm around me.

"Hey Jax." I answered. "You okay?" I asked

"Yeah." He answered pulling me closer into a hug. We may not have spent much time together in the past few years but it was always easy loving Jax.

"Are you sure? Where's Abel?" I asked quietly.

He gave a quick sideways glance toward my mother. "We'll talk later okay." He said turning back to me.

"You have to tell her." I said casting my eyes in the same direction as his.

"I will Kat. Just not now." he said a sense of urgency to his voice.

I sighed. "Okay Jax. I guess she does have a lot going on right now."

"Yeah. She does." he said casting his eyes to the doorway of grandpa's house and where Tig still stood his gaze in our direction. "What's going on with you two?"

"Who? Me and Tig? Nothing. You know Grandpa shot him when he caught him banging his carer right?"

"Yeah I did. Are you okay?"

"Of course I am. Where's Happy?" I asked looking around and noticing his absence.

"He's off with Piney and Bobby taking care of something." He answered me noticing my deliberate change of subject as he placed his arm around my shoulders and led me inside behind the rest of the guys who were already milling inside.

"Hey Daddy." I said approaching my father where he now sat at the head of my grandfather's dining table with a steaming hot cup of coffee my mother had just placed in front of him.

"Hey baby girl." He said wrapping his arm around my waist. I thought I caught a glimpse of that happy sparkle beneath the exhaustion in his eyes.

"What's going on? Who are all these people?" Grandpa's voice came from the doorway.

"Their family Daddy." Mom informed him. "You remember Clay?"

"He's no family of mine." Grandpa said in a firm yet wavering voice.

I heard Mom sigh from beside me. "And Jackson. You're grandson." Mom continued as Jax stepped away from the door frame and into the room a little.

"Hey Grandpa." Jax said.

"John was such a nice man Gemma. A better man that Clay could ever be." Grandpa said before he turned and left the room.

"I guess I'm still not his favorite person." Clay said.

"Don't worry Daddy. I love you." I said placing a kiss on his cheek.

He smiled up at me. "Good to hear Kat."

I knew the weight of everything the club had going on was hanging heavily on his shoulders and still he was here to support mom through putting Grandpa into a home. That's the kind of lasting love I longed for.


	5. Chapter 5

5/

The time had come to take Grandpa to the home that Grandma Rose had organized. I walked into the lounge room to find him sitting in his favorite chair, a photo of Rose in his hand.

"She was very beautiful Katherine." He said as I approached. "You look like her."

I smiled knowing that my blonde hair and blue eyes couldn't be more different to the dark hair and green eyes of the lady in the photograph he held.

"Are you ready to go Grandpa?" I asked carefully knowing he held a lot of hesitation about the plans that had been put in place for him.

"Go where? Will Rose be there?" He asked.

"To the care facility that Grandma chose." I answered being careful not to say home. Somehow I knew that word would unsettle him.

"Yes. Yes I'm ready." He answered rising unsteadily to his feet.

"Good. Mom's waiting for us in the car." I said linking my arm through his and leading him to the door.

The plan had been for Dad and the rest of the guys to follow us to the nursing home but as usual something had come up so they would meet us there instead. I was still a little nervous about Mom insisting on coming along to check Grandpa in.

"Are you sure you coming along is a good idea Mom?" I asked as I slid into the back seat of my charger. Mom was one of the few people I trusted to drive it.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else baby." Mom answered.

"But what if someone recognizes you?" I asked with a sigh.

"That's not gonna happen sweetheart." She answered placing a hand on Grandpa's shoulder where he sat confused beside her as she pulled out of the driveway.

"Recognizes you for what Gemma? What's going on?" He asked.

"Nothing Daddy. It's not important. What's important is that we get you all set up." She said with a forced smile.

"Set up where? Where are you taking me?" Grandpa asked his agitation growing. I sighed. I knew how unsettled he was about being taken away from his home, away from the center of all his memories of Grandma.

"We're taking you to the home that Rose set up Daddy." Mom answered him and I cringed as that word came out of her mouth.

"Home? What home? This isn't home." He said as Mom pulled my car to a stop in the parking lot.

"It's going to be okay Grandpa." I said from the backseat as I opened the door and slid out to go around and open his door.

"Why am I here?" He asked as I took his arm and helped him out of my car.

"This is where you're going to be living now Grandpa." I answered him trying to keep my tone even when inside my heart was breaking.

"Is Rose here?" He asked. I glanced across at Mom and saw her trying hard to choke back her tears.

"No Grandpa. She's not." I said leading him to the door.

"Where is she? Is she home? I want to go home. Take me home Katherine." He almost pleaded with me.

"This is home now Grandpa." I said quietly trying desperately to calm him.

He turned his attention to Mom. "Take me home Gemma. Please just take me home."

Mom lost her battle with her tears and shook her head. "No Daddy. I can't."

"Gemma please? Katherine? I just want to go home." He pleaded, his voice wavering as tears glistened in the corners of his eyes.

Mom stood motionless tears streaming down her face. I knew this was too hard for her.

"It's okay Mom. I'll handle this." I said to her as a doctor came out of the front doors of the home with a wheelchair. "C'mon grandpa. It's time to go inside."

"I don't want to Katherine. I want to go home." He said, his voice low and sad.

"This is home now Grandpa." I said again trying to make my voice sound reassuring as I heard Mom continue to sob behind me.

"Everything will be okay Mr Madock." The doctor said coming forward with the wheelchair.

"What's that for? I don't need that. I can walk." Grandpa said firmly pulling away from my arm and stepping forward to the doors that opened automatically in front of him.

I cast a look back toward Mom before I followed him. She flashed me a small smile of thanks through her tears.

* * *

It took me close to an hour to get Grandpa settled in his room and feel confident that I could leave him there. I knew he was confused but I also felt assured that he was in the best of hands. I had to give it to Grandma Rose. She had thought of everything right down to the garden he had a clear view of from his window.

I assured Grandpa that I'd come back and visit soon even though I had no idea if that would even be possible before making my way to the front desk and signing the last of the paperwork that was needed.

I glanced out the double glass doors as I did so and couldn't see Mom where I'd left her. I sighed. She was probably around the corner smoking a cigarette thinking that it wasn't right to smoke so close to the facility.

"We'll take good care of your grandfather." The woman behind the desk assured me as I placed the pen I'd been using down and picked up my purse.

"Thank you." I said turning toward the doors, now growing concerned that I hadn't seen Mom return yet.

"Mom?" I called as I stepped out into the cool air. The weather seemed to reflect the situation I was soon to find myself in. It was overcast now; the sunshine of the morning gone. I looked around the parking lot to find my charger gone.

"Shit!" I swore. I should never have left her with the keys.

I knew there was nothing I could do but wait for Dad and Jax and the rest of they guys to show up.

I paced restlessly across the parking lot for what seemed like hours but I knew it must have been much less. Finally I heard the roar of their Harleys in the distance. They pulled into the lot and surrounded me. I couldn't help but feel it was an inquisition.

"Where's Mom?" Jax asked me from astride his bike.

"I don't know. She got upset when we brought Grandpa here. He just wanted to go home and it was all too much for her. When I got back out here from settling him she was gone. She took my car."

"You let her have the keys?" Dad fumed.

"She drove us here so she still had them. I didn't know she'd take off." I couldn't help but raise my voice as I defended myself.

"Wait Kat what'd you say made her upset?" Jax interrupted.

"Grandpa just wanted us to take him home."

"That's where she's gone. Familiarity. She's gone home to Charming."

"But Abel's not there."

"She doesn't know that. Get on." My older brother barked at me as he pulled his helmet from his head and passed it to me. I knew he wasn't angry only anxious to get back home before our mother found her grandson gone.

I glanced across at Tig as I placed Jax's helmet upon my head. I half hoped he would offer to have me ride bitch with him as once again I grappled with my returning feelings for him, but I knew he wouldn't. He never had and he never would.

* * *

" _I killed her." Tig said suddenly late one night as we lay together in his bed._

" _Excuse me?" I asked startled._

" _The girl I said you reminded me of. I killed her." He said still lying beside me and staring at the ceiling. I sucked in a breath as I sat up beside him and looked down upon him. I was familiar with this closed off and non emotional side of him. It came out whenever he had to address club business with me but I knew this was different._

" _What do you mean you killed her?" I asked_ _cautiously._

" _We were out riding one day. There was a truck, a big v double, it cut us off and I lost control of my bike. Laid it down on the side of the road. She, she was flung off into the path of the truck and well she didn't make it."_

 _I saw the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes and knew it was something he hadn't ever spoken about. "It was_ _an_ _accident Tig." I said quietly placing my hand on his arm where it lay motionless beside him._

" _It's why I won't let you ride with me."_

 _I sighed. I'd pushed at him earlier that day to let me ride with him and we fought when once again he'd refused._

" _Did she look like me? Is that why?"_

 _His gaze snapped from the ceiling to mine. "You're more than just her look alike to me Kat. You know that right?"_

 _I already knew how much he had loved the mystery woman I reminded him of. What I wasn't sure of was how much of her he saw in me. How much of me did he see?_

" _Yeah I guess." I said quietly._

" _I can't risk anything like that happening again Kat." he said pulling me close._

" _I understand." I said quietly through the darkness._

* * *

Darkness had descended upon the lot when Jax rode into it. I don't think he'd ever ridden so fast with me on the back and I was relieved when he came to a stop. That was until I looked across the lot to see Mom bathed in the light spilling out of the office doorway, a look of utter shock on her face.

I swung my leg off Jax's bike and ran toward her just as the phone dropped from her hand and she fell to the ground clutching her chest. "Oh Christ. Mom?" I dropped to my knees beside her.

"Call an ambulance." I heard dad say from beside me.

"An ambulance? But wait that means they'll turn her in."

"We haven't got a choice Kat. While I'm sure this isn't beyond your capabilities she needs medical equipment we don't have."

I took a deep breath and sighed. I knew my father was right as I monitored my mother's pulse, relieved to feel it was strong; erratic but strong.

I was relieved to see the lights of the ambulance come flashing into the lot after what seemed an eternity later. I knew it must have only been a few minutes though. I watched as the paramedics loaded her into the ambulance and closed the doors. A conversation consisting of looks alone took place between the Sons before my father and my brother headed to their bikes. Tig cast a glance my way where I stood beside Happy before he too headed toward his bike following behind Chibs and Bobby who were doing the same. I knew how hectic the waiting room at the hospital became when someone affiliated with Samcro was being treated so it was for that reason that I chose to stay behind. I knew Dad or Jax would keep me posted on Mom's condition.

I followed Happy into the clubhouse expecting that he'd mill about in the clubroom with the others that had remained behind. But he didn't. He headed straight to the hallway and his dorm. I found myself following and grabbed the back of his kutte to pull him back.

He turned and met my gaze. I could see in his eyes that he knew instantly what I wanted. It had been months since we'd been together but we had always recognized the others need. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me back to his dorm.


	6. Chapter 6

6/

I woke the next morning in Happy's bed, the sheets beside me cold and empty. I sat up and looked around for my clothes and wasn't surprised to see them folded neatly on the chair across the room. I'd expect nothing else from Happy.

I checked my phone before heading to the shower and saw a message from Jax there. _Mom's fine. Catch you in the morning._

I let out a sigh of relief as I headed toward the bathroom, grabbing my clothes along the way. I flicked on the shower and stepped in letting the hot water scald me as it washed the smell of Happy from my skin. Sex with him was always something else. He wasn't afraid to be rough with me and I loved the strength that he used against me, inflicting a fear in me as he made it known that he was in control. I think that was what had led me to his bed in the first place. After Tig, I had worked so hard to control every other aspect of my life so that when I was with Happy it was the one place that I could let go and let someone else have control over me.

I flicked off the shower and dried myself off with a towel that was still damp, presumably from a shower Happy had earlier. I dressed and headed out into the hallway only to run headlong into Jax. He didn't raise an eyebrow at seeing me come out of Happy's dorm room.

"Hey Kat." He greeted me. "Mom wants to see us both this morning."

"Does she know about Abel?" I asked as I walked alongside him to the clubroom.

"Yeah. She's not happy." He said placing his arm around my shoulders.

I sighed. "You should have told her Jax."

"I'm getting enough I told you so's from Tara, Kat. Don't you start." He said dropping his arm and heading toward the bar.

"Any ideas on where he is yet?" I asked as I followed behind him. Tig sat behind the bar and wordlessly pushed a cup of coffee toward me. I knew by the look in his eye that he guessed where I'd spent the night.

"Juice dug up a photo that captured him at the Canadian border."

"He's in Canada?" I asked as Jax too accepted coffee from Tig.

"Yeah. Seems so." Jax answered before taking a large sip of coffee.

"So what's the plan to go get him back?" I asked.

"We're working on it Kat." Jax said dismissively making it clear that I shouldn't poke any further. He placed his cup down on the bar and stood to move out. "You ready to get going to the hospital?" he asked me.

"Yeah." I answered before emptying my own cup. "I guess it's better to get mom's wrath over and done with early in the day." I said as I placed it down on the bar beside his. I caught Tig smirk at my words as I rose to follow Jax out. Together he and I had faced more of it than most.

* * *

" _Katherine. You got a moment sweetheart?" Mom asked as I came in the door from school one afternoon. I knew with the use of Katherine it was not a question but an order. I sighed and hung my bag on the hook by the door before turning to join her in the kitchen._

 _My heart sank when I saw an empty condom wrapper on the table in front of her. I bit my lip as I met her eyes unsure of what I'd find there._

" _You wanna explain why I found this in your room?" She asked._ _I couldn't read her tone but I swear there was fire in her eyes._

" _Mom I … I wish I could have told you but I … well I didn't know how to."_ _I stumbled._

" _Is it who I think it is?" She pressed me for answers._

 _I hung my head and remained silent._

 _I heard her sigh heavily before she spoke again. "The house has smelt like him for weeks Kat. How long have you been sleeping with him?"_

" _About a month." I said quietly barely recognizing my own voice. "Maybe a little longer."_

 _I knew she wasn't pleased with what she was hearing. "At least you had the sense to use protection."_

" _Does Daddy know?" I asked quietly, knowing that my father would be_ _even more_ _furious._

" _You'd both already know about it if he did." She answered me stoically._

" _I'm sorry Mom." I said taking a deep breath as I dragged my eyes from the table to meet her gaze._

 _Her lips were pursed and her eyes were_ _still_ _hard until she met my gaze. "You love him don't you."_

 _I nodded. "Yeah. I think I do."_

" _He doesn't hurt you at all? He treats you right?" She asked._

 _I shook my head. "He doesn't hurt me Mom."_

" _I'll talk to him; make sure he knows what's at stake if he hurts you."_

" _Mom ..." I began only to have her cut me off._

" _I'll talk to your father and your brother too. They find out about this the wrong way who knows what they'll do."_

" _So I can keep seeing him?" I dared to ask, hearing her tone soften as she lit a cigarette._

" _I know Tig better than they realize. He'll treat you right." She answered. I knew it was as close to approval as I was going to get._

* * *

I knew Mom had laid down the law to Tig not long after that. Things between us had been strained for a few weeks as the club wrapped their head around our relationship. I also knew that it was her I had to thank for Dad and Jax accepting us being together also.

I got off the back of Jax's bike and handed him the spare helmet. "You ready to do this?" I asked him.

"Have to be I guess." He said with a heavy sigh, I knew thinking more about where Abel was rather than facing Mom over it. "When we go in to see her the cops are gonna frisk you." He continued, giving me a heads up.

"Yeah. I figured." I answered following him through the doors of St Thomas as a visitor rather than an employee.

I watched as the cop that stood guard outside Mom's door frisked Jax and then stepped forward and raised my arms allowing him to do the same to me. I knew he felt Jax's eyes on him the entire time making sure he didn't get too personal. Once he was done he allowed Jax to open the door.

"Hey Mom." Jax said, perhaps a little over enthusiastically as he stuck his head around the door.

"Get in here." She answered without further greeting. "Both of you." She continued seeing me behind my brother.

"Mom ..." Jax began.

"You lied to me." She said to Jax, then cast her gaze toward me.

"They told me not to tell you Mom." I offered knowing my words would mean nothing to her as I met the glare in her eye.

"You got your own voice and your own head on your shoulders Katherine." She snapped back.

"We were trying to protect you Mom." Jax said from beside me.

"Bullshit. You were trying to protect yourselves."

"We're gonna get him back Mom. Juice dug up some intel that places him in Toronto." Jax said pulling a folded piece of paper from his kutte.

I watched as Mom unfolded and looked at the grainy black and white photo printed on it. "He's not in Canada." she said.

"What do you mean?" Dad piped up from beside Mom's bed, for the first time since Jax and I entered. I was sure he had already received the third degree from her.

"The phone call I got last night that triggered all this." She said glancing around at all of us before her gaze settled on Dad. "It was from Maureen Ashby." she said pointedly like Dad should know who that was.

I saw a flicker of recognition in his eyes and confusion on Jax's face as he saw the same. "Who's Maureen Ashby?" He asked.

"McGee's old lady. A friend of the club." Dad answered.

"Abel's in Belfast." Mom said.

I saw a look exchanged between my brother and my father, both of them I knew were milling over how they were going to get Abel back. "How the hell are we gonna get to Belfast?" Jax asked.

"We'll figure it out." Dad said taking hold of Mom's hand. "We gotta take this to the club baby. You sit tight okay."

"Not going anywhere." She said rattling the handcuff that held her to the bed. Dad leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "We'll take care of everything baby." He said before leaving the room with Jax behind him.

I moved to leave too. "Kat, you got a minute baby?" Mom asked calling me back.

"Sure Mom." I answered turning back toward her. I knew from experience and the tone of her voice that her anger had passed and that this was about something else. "What's up?"

"You spoken to Tig since we got back from Grandpa's?" She asked.

I sighed. "Should I have?" I asked evasively.

"You two have things to sort through baby. He still loves you and I know you still love him."

"Mom whatever Tig and I had is history."

"I don't believe that sweetheart. When you think no one is looking you get that same lovestruck look you had as a teenager."

I sighed. I knew nothing ever got past Mom. "I do still love him Mom but I can't get past what happened between us."

"I know he hurt you baby and no one suffers more than him over it but you hurt him right back. Sleeping with Kozik? You knew that was going to hurt him."

I sighed and thought back upon that time when everything I thought I had had crumbled down around me. I knew I'd made some stupid decisions. "What I did was dumb Mom. I know that now. Hell I knew it then but I was acting out of spite. Both Tig and I said and did some horrible stuff. There's too much to get past."

"Well you're gonna have to get past it sweetheart. Koz will be in town helping out with all this."

I looked up and met my mother's gaze. "It was one night Mom. Kozik knows that."

"He might but does Tig?" She asked me.

"Yes."

"He's crazy jealous of anyone else you let near you Kat, and that all stems from that night."

I sighed, not knowing what to say. I knew she was right. She always was.

"You both need to get shit sorted Kat or it's gonna blow up into more than this club needs right now." She said taking my hand with her cuffed one.

I looked down at the handcuff that held her to the bed. "You're not really gonna be away for as long as you said right?"

"I don't know baby. You just worry about your own shit." She answered me.

I nodded. "Yeah. Okay." I leaned over her and kissed her forehead knowing she was right. I had to at least talk to Tig about our past and the animosity that remained.

* * *

I returned to the hospital hallway where Samcro had taken up residence and glanced around it seeing that Tig had now joined them. He stood off to the side talking with Jax and Dad. I made eyes at him when he glanced my way and he returned my look questioningly. I stepped forward, "You got a minute?" I asked him.

He looked to Clay. "We're done here Tig. Go talk to her." Her father said with a sigh.

I sighed as Tig stepped forward and the rest of the guys cleared out of the hallway. Dad gave me a long look before he too left. I knew it was at Mom's insistence that he had given his approval of my relationship with Tig all those years ago and I knew it was because of her that he kept out of it now. Hell I knew I had my mother to thank for keeping me out of Dad's warpath as he learned of all my relationship matters.

"What's up Doll?" He asked.

"I know Kozik is going to be in town to help sort this all out. I just wanted to know if that's gonna be a problem." I asked cutting straight to it.

His eyes clouded over with rage. I should have been scared but I knew it was not directed at me. "I'm sorry about what happened that night. I just wanted to hurt you." I heard my voice saying as I gazed into those rage filled eyes.

He snapped his eyes toward me, his rage washing away. "I never blamed you Kitty Kat. You know that. He should have known better."

"Tig it was both of us okay? You've gotta let it go and stop blaming him for something that happened years ago."

"Nah. I can't do that Kitty Kat. He had no right to have you."

"Tig I let him. It's on me too."

He placed his hand on the small of my back and pulled me towards him. "I forgave you for that night a long time ago baby. I get why you did it but what I'll never understand is why he let it happen. You were still my old lady and he should have known better than to betray me."

I sighed and looked up to meet his gaze. "Please Tig just think about what I've said. The club doesn't need any extra animosity going on."

"Kat I love you but I can never forgive that piece of shit for that night." He kissed my forehead before releasing his grip on me, turning and heading down the hallway in the direction the others had gone.

I sighed as I turned to follow him outside. I found Jax waiting on the steps for me smoking a cigarette.

"What was that all about?" He asked me watching Tig climb onto his bike.

"It doesn't matter." I said taking his cigarette from his hand and taking a long drag of it.

"Thought you didn't smoke little sister." he commented as I handed it back to him.

"I usually don't." I said watching Tig peel out of the hospital parking lot.

Jax followed my gaze and watched Tig's bike disappear around the corner. "We're voting on Hap and Kozik joining Samcro this afternoon. Is he gonna have a problem with that?"

I sighed, knowing that everyone in the club knew about that night. "I don't know Jax. He still has a huge bee in his bonnet over what happened."

"We need Kozik in Kat. If you can talk Tig around I'd appreciate it."

"I've tried Jax. Hopefully he'll finally get past it." I said as he slid his arm around my shoulders and led me across to his bike. He nodded acknowledgment at my words.

"You want me to take you back to your place? I doubt you're gonna wanna be around the clubhouse this afternoon."

"Yeah. That'd be good." I said giving him a small smile. "Sorry if it's my fault you expect shit to get messy."

Jax sighed. "No one's blaming you for it Kat. He needs to move past it."

"I'm not sure he ever will Jax." I sighed as I followed my brother over to his bike. I knew from experience that when Tig had his mind made up about something it was extremely hard to change it.

* * *

 **A/N: So perhaps a little bit of an unexpected bombshell regarding Kat and Tig's past in this chapter. As this story continues we'll slowly get to the bottom of where it all went wrong but this chapter reveals a catalyst for where it may have started. Please review and let me know your thoughts.**


	7. Chapter 7

7/

It was approaching dusk when I heard a distinctive knock on my front door. I knew who that knock belonged to.

"Hey Hap." I greeted him as I opened the door. "Do I need a tail?"

"Nah. Just thought I'd come by." He answered me as he came inside.

I recognized the glint in his eye and knew immediately why he was here. I should have known that sleeping with him the night before would open the floodgates for a period of time. We'd often go for several months not being with each other and then one of us would initiate it and it would continue for a few weeks.

I spied the new redwood original patches on his kutte. "You made the vote." I commented running my fingers across them.

"Yeah." He answered.

"And Kozik?" I asked.

"Nah Tig voted against it."

I sighed. "I really wish he'd get past all the shit between them."

"He might one day." he said rather elusively.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Nothin'. I didn't come here to talk about Tig." he said scooping me up and slamming me against the wall. He crushed his lips against mine making it impossible for me to continue the conversation even if I'd wanted to.

"Bedroom." I murmured in the brief second he gave me for air before plundering my mouth with his tongue. He obliged and carried me to my bedroom where he threw me down on the bed. I watched him peel his clothes off before he prowled over me and stripped me of my own clothes. It was always like this between us. No foreplay just straight down to it.

He kissed, bit and sucked a trail down my neck to my breasts as his hand reached behind me to unclasp my bra. I moaned as his fingers brushed over my hip before moving to pull my lacy underwear down. I barely had time to kick it off at my ankles before he was spreading my legs and running his fingers across me. "Christ. Your always so wet Kat." he remarked before he slid effortlessly inside of me. I moaned as he slid out and slammed hard back into me again and again. As his hand went to my throat as it sometimes did I knew it was the strength and power he had over me that made me so wet for him. His hand tightened around my neck his thumb pressing against my windpipe, strangling my cries as my insides burned closer to their release. He'd quickly discovered that the rougher he was the more ferociously I came which I knew made his own release more powerful as my walls clamped tight around him.

"Oh fuck Hap. Harder." I moaned when I knew I was close. I screamed as he slammed into me and the power of my orgasm hit me, making me see stars. He slammed into me several more times before finding his own release as mine continued to tear through me.

"Christ Hap." I murmured breathlessly as he rolled off me and headed toward the bathroom, collecting his clothes along the way. I heard the shower start as I gathered the sheet around my naked body. I lay back against the pillows and bit my lip still reeling. I'd take a shower after he left which I knew would be soon. He never stuck around long after we'd had sex.

He emerged a short time later and I followed him to the front door still wrapped only in my bed sheets. "I'll be leavin' in the mornin' for a while."

"For Belfast?" I asked.

"Yeah." He answered.

"Okay." I replied.

"Jax wants you to meet him at the hospital in the morning before we go out." He said before he headed over to his bike where it stood in my driveway.

I knew that was the end of our conversation and all it meant. It was always the same between us. The sex was over he'd up and leave with an instruction or order, in this case a message from my brother.

"Early I expect?" I asked.

"Yeah." He returned before he started up his bike and peeled out of my driveway.

* * *

"Jax." I cried running headlong into him and Dad as I came out of the front doors of St Thomas. "I've just been to see Mom and she's not there."

"What? What do you mean she's not there?" Dad asked from beside him.

"I don't know. They said something about some medical episode and then no one could track her down for me. She wasn't in the treatment room they took her to." I explained.

Jax sighed as his cell phone buzzed in his pocket. "It's Tara. Maybe she knows something." He said as he glanced down at the caller display. "Hey babe." He said on answering it.

"Mom?"

"What the hell?"

"Shit." Jax swore as he snapped his phone shut.

"What's going on Jax?" I asked.

"I found Mom. C'mon." He said heading around the back to the service entry.

"What the hell?" I said seeing Mom emerge from it adorned in a doctor's coat with a suitcase in her hand.

"I'm coming with you." Mom announced.

"Baby." Dad began to protest but I knew this was one of those times she was not going to take no for answer.

"I'm coming with you to Belfast to bring home my grandson." She insisted in a tone of voice I recognized well. She had no intention of backing down and was going to get exactly what she wanted.

"There might be a problem with that." Came a voice from behind me. I turned to find Chief Unser there his gun drawn.

"What are you gonna do Wayne? Shoot me?" Mom asked.

"I have to call this in Gemma."

"Mom this is crazy." I tried to protest.

"Here." Tig said handing Jax the keys to the tow truck. "Get her outta here."

I looked on in disbelief as Mom, Dad and Jax piled into the tow truck and sped off leaving Chief Unser standing open mouthed gun still drawn.

"Where's your car Kitty Kat?" Tig asked me ignoring Unser where he still stood.

"In the parking lot." I answered dumbfounded.

"Keys?" He asked me holding his hand out for them.

"What? No way. You are not driving my car." I tried to protest.

He sighed and grabbed me by the arm dragging me towards it. "How fast can you drive?"

"Fast enough. Why?"

"You're going after that tow truck."

"What? Why?"

"Do I have to spell it out Kitty Kat? Unser is going to call it in. They'll be looking for the tow truck. We catch up to them and swap cars so your mom doesn't get carted off to jail."

I turned back to see Unser already on his radio as we reached my car. "Right." I said the penny finally dropping as I opened the door and slid into the driver's seat. I put the keys into the ignition while Tig climbed into the passenger seat beside me.

I barely waited for him to close the door before I peeled out of the lot going in the same direction I knew Dad would have taken in the tow truck. I could hear sirens beginning in the distance.

"Shit." I swore.

"Relax Kitty Kat. Just catch up to them." Tig said from beside me.

I rounded a corner and floored the accelerator as I saw them ahead of me. Tig reached across and blasted my horn making them slow down and pull over. I came to a screaming stop beside them as the sound of sirens drew closer.

"They'll be looking for the truck. Take Kat's charger." Tig said jumping out of my car and rounding to the passenger side door of the truck.

I got out and handed Dad the keys.

"Go. Get outta here." Tig said putting Mom's suitcase in the trunk and slamming the lid down.

I stepped forward and gave Mom a hug. "This takes the cake as the craziest thing you've ever done Mom."

She raised her eyebrows at me. "I think you're about to bring crazy to whole new level too sweetheart."

I glanced back at Tig who was waiting impatiently in the drivers seat of tow truck for me to get in.

"Go bring Abel home Mom." I said placing a kiss on her cheek before opening the door and sliding in beside him.

"Hold onto something Kitty Kat." He said as he put it into gear and sped off directly back onto the main road where a squad of police cars immediately began following us. "That's it piggies. That's it." Tig chanted quietly to himself as he picked up speed and led them out of town.

"How is this gonna end Tig?" I asked.

"I don't know Kitty Kat." he said with a glance into the rear vision mirror as he headed out of Charming. "But what's important is that you tell 'em nothing at the other end of it." he continued

"I'm not gonna rat on anyone Tig."

"I know that Doll but there's some pretty hard hitting cops in town at the moment though."

"Okay? Why is that?" I pressed him as I grabbed onto the window frame beside me as Tig threw the truck around a bend on the highway.

"Probably nothing." He said. I knew I should have known I wouldn't get answers out of him.

With nothing else to do being that I was being forced to share the ride with him, I brought up Kozik.

"So I heard you voted against Kozik's transfer?"

"Yeah. The prick can help out Samcro without having to be Samcro." He reasoned an edge of distaste to his voice.

"But you didn't vote against Happy's transfer?" I continued, not sure what direction the conversation would take at the mention of Happy's name.

"He's a better man than Kozik will ever be." He almost growled beside me as he glanced into the rear vision mirror.

"You know what I don't get Tig? Is why you have such a problem with Kozik but not with Happy."

"Whatever you and Happy have going on is none of my business Kat. I don't have to like it but it's not my business. I know he looks after you and we weren't together when you started with him. Kozik knew you were still mine when he slept with you. That's what I can never forgive." he answered me. I heard the pang of jealousy in his voice.

"Tig we my not have actually called things off when it happened but are you forgetting that I'd just walked in on you banging Ima? What were you expecting I'd do?"

"I don't fuckin' know Kat. Not that."

"The grudge you've got against him is stupid Tig. It was one fucking night. He was one man that I slept with while we were technically still together and you slept with how many fucking women?"

"He was my brother Kat. The closest thing I had to a friend before I became a Son. He betrayed my trust that night."

"Wow, so I suppose the number of times you betrayed my trust with a string of whores doesn't matter then?"

"It's different Kat."

"No it's not." I persisted.

"Just drop it Kat." he declared like a petulant little kid.

"Fine." I sighed knowing he was never going to forget that night.

"You ready to end this?" He asked, I knew grateful for the opportunity to change the subject even if it meant we were both about to be arrested. I turned around and looked out the back window. I couldn't count how many cop cars were behind us now.

"You think the others are at the airstrip by now?" I asked with a little trepidation.

"Yeah bound to be. These piggies have been following us for nearly an hour." He answered me as he pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"Thanks for waiting for my answer." I said perhaps a little too sarcastically.

"We gotta face the music sometime Kitty Kat." He said with a wink.

Before I knew it the car was surrounded by squad cars and a cop with a megaphone was demanding that we get out with our hands up. I glanced at Tig before I opened my door and slid out of the car. He looked like he was enjoying this. I knew I shouldn't be surprised; it was the thrill of this life that he enjoyed the most. What better way to get that thrill than to be arrested after leading every cop in the surrounding area on a near hour chase.

I held my hands above my head and immediately felt a cop press me against the hood of the car and place my hands upon it while another frisked me. I sucked in a breath as trepidation set in. I wondered what I'd be charged with if anything as I glanced across to Tig who was being frisked on the opposite side of the hood. He smirked at me then winked. I shook my head at him and smirked back before I was pulled away with my hands held tight behind my back and placed into one of the waiting squad cars.


	8. Chapter 8

8/

"Can we go now?" I asked Unser as I watched Tig take a brown paper bag containing his belongings from Officer Eglee.

Tara stood beside me, anxious to leave also. It had no doubt been under direction from the club that she had shown up to bail us out. I'd been released without charge when it was decided I had been an unwilling passenger. Tig however was charged with multiple traffic infringements.

"Yeah" Unser answered as Tig returned to our side. "But, ah somebody else is gonna have to pick up that tow truck from the impound. Your license has been suspended." Unser informed Tig as he turned to head out the door his arm around my shoulders.

I shrugged out from under his arm as he turned back. "What? Why?" he asked.

"You took three arms of law enforcement on a 100 mile an hour goose chase. It'll be two years before you're behind the wheel."

"Are you serious?" Tig asked incredulously. "How the hell am I supposed to work? How am I supposed to ride? C'mon man you'll be dead before I get that license back!" he fumed.

"Get him outta here." Unser said, to neither Tara or I in particular. He had clearly had enough of dealing with Samcro for the day.

"C'mon," I said grabbing his elbow and leading him out the door.

Tara followed quickly behind us. "I'll drop you both at the impound. You can drive the tow truck back right Kat?"

"Nah. I'd prefer someone else to do it." I answered having had more than my fill of forced time with Tig in the last few days.

"Okay sure. I'll call the garage and have someone pick him up then." Tara said as she pulled out her keys and headed over to her car.

"I'll do it." I said pulling out my cell as I followed her. I glanced across at Tig knowing full well who I intended to send to get him. I hoped perhaps it would finally help them to clear the air.

* * *

"Was it your bright idea to send Blondie to pick me up Kitty Kat?" He asked as he walked across the lot to greet me later that afternoon as Kozik parked the tow truck.

I raised my eyebrows in response. "Did you talk?" I asked not directly answering his question.

"Yeah we talked." he answered sitting down opposite me, "About how I'm never letting him become Samcro." he continued looking directly into my eyes.

I never could miss when he was being serious. His eyes always become so intense that I swear their blue deepened.

"It's been eight years Tig." I sighed.

"He said that too, but there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you Kitty Kat and how we used to be. That all changed that night."

"Damn it Tig! It wasn't just that night. We'd been drifting apart for weeks. I'd just caught you in bed with Ima for Christ sake! I was angry. I wanted to hurt you and I obviously succeeded, but Christ Tig – eight years is a long time to hold a grudge against him for it."

"I don't want him anywhere near you Kitty Kat. That's why I can't let him be Samcro."

"Tig nothing is going to happen between me and Kozik. If it were going to don't you think it would have by now?"

"I don't trust him Kitty Kat." He said rising and walking away into the clubhouse letting the door swing shut behind him.

I sighed and watched him go. I hadn't expected his reasoning for not wanting Kozik in town to be concern over my welfare.

* * *

I stood beside Tara later that afternoon helping her sort through some papers in the office and work out what needed to be done to keep the garage going in Gemma's absence. Chuckie stood nearby completing an invoice for a customer who was returning later that afternoon to collect their car.

"Hey! Those aren't your god damn tools." Tig suddenly growled across the lot abandoning the car he'd been working on.

"Blow me." I heard Kozik throw back at him.

"What'd you say?" Tig continued.

I moved to the doorway to watch their argument.

"What is up with those two?" Tara asked of no one in particular, coming up beside me and resting against the door frame.

"I'm not sure, but judging by their level of malevolence there has got to be at least one vagina involved." Chuckie answered her in complete seriousness.

Tara looked slightly embarrassed while a red hot blush crept up my cheeks. "Thanks for the insight." She said. Why don't you ah... go check the clubhouse for the receivables?" She asked noting the shade my cheeks had become.

"Sure." Chuckie responded thankfully without looking my way.

"From what I've heard that'd be you, right?" Tara said lightheartedly turning her attention to me.

"Yeah maybe." I said biting my lip hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

"Listen Kat? Have you um got a minute?" Tara asked suddenly as she headed back into the office and waited for me to follow.

"Sure Tara. What's up?" I asked following her and closing the door behind me. Somehow I knew that our conversation was about to take a much more personal level for her.

"Look um I probably have no right to ask you this, you being Jax's sister and all but I figured since you work in the ER you might have some contacts."

"What is it you need to ask me Tara?" I asked seeing a torn up look of fear and sadness in her eyes.

"I um need somewhere for an abortion, off the books, anonymous. Your work in the ER and that would put girls who need that in your path right?" She asked I could tell with trepidation perhaps even an element of fear; not fear in the figurative sense but a fear of being judged. She was right. I had seen that same fear quite a few times during my career as an ER doctor.

"I could get some contacts for you if you'd like."

"Thanks Kat." She said with a small sigh of relief. "I didn't know who else I could trust."

"Does Jax know?" I asked.

"No." She said quietly, "and I'd prefer to keep it that way."

"That's fine Tara. I'm not about to tell him. It's not my place."

"He has so much going on right now. It's not the right time and we've only just started things up again really. It's just too soon." She said feeling no doubt that she had to explain herself to me. I could tell her words were as much to convince herself that she was doing the right thing.

"I'll make some calls Tara and see where I can get you in." I said reassuringly placing my hand on her arm.

"Thanks Kat. I appreciate it." She said I could tell filled with so many mixed emotions.

* * *

"Thanks for today Kat." Tara said from beside me as I pulled to a stop at a red light.

"It's okay Tara. You know I'll ..." my words were cut short as I felt the impact of a car running up the back of mine.

"What the hell?" Tara exclaimed from beside me.

"Someone just hit us." I said glancing in the mirror and seeing a young Spanish woman get out of the car behind. "Are you alright?" I asked Tara.

"Yeah." she said unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry." Exclaimed the young Spanish woman as I got out to go check the back of my car.

"it's okay. It doesn't look like there's much damage." I said running my hand over the chrome of my rear bumper, looking at it in the light of the other car's headlights.

"Hey, I know you." She said I could tell feigning confusion as Tara got out of the car. "Your Jax Teller's girl right?"

"Um..." Tara hesitated momentarily and I tried to catch her eye before she answered affirmatively. I didn't like this at all. Alarm bells were screaming through my head telling me that this was no random hit and run. "Yeah .." Tara continued confused. "Who are you?" She asked.

"I'm his girl." She said pulling a gun on us as her male partner got out of the car behind us.

"Woah." I said backing up a little and placing my hands up.

"The brunettes his old lady." the Spanish girl said as he walked forward.

"What about the blonde? She an old lady too?"

"Ah I'm a Doctor at St Thomas hospital and um Kat is one too." Tara tried to explain from beside me. I knew no amount of explaining or words were going to talk us out of this. Whoever these people were they were after Tara for some reason. I sighed wondering what kind of shit the club was embroiled in now.

"Check her ink." The man ordered the girl.

I gasped at the other woman's strength as she slammed me against the trunk of my car and lifted the back of my top. "Oh yeah. She's an old lady alright." She said when her eyes fell upon the crow that flew up my back. She pinned my hands behind my back and shoved me into the backseat of the car as Tara was almost thrown in the other side.

Shit. I thought to myself as the car reversed back and sped off around my car, leaving it there in the middle of the intersection. Why the hell I'd never gotten Tig's crow covered I have no idea. But I knew they probably would have taken me anyway. I could identify them and help search for Tara had they let me go. What they wanted I had no idea but as I sat there in that car watching out the window to where they were taking us I found myself reminiscing again; thinking once again upon what Tig and I had once had.

* * *

 _It was the eve of my eighteenth birthday and I had just stepped in the door after helping out at the garage all day. I was wrecked, covered in grease and hot and sweaty after the heat of the day._

 _I didn't know where Tig was. He had said he'd be home late. I didn't ask why. I never did._

 _I walked into our bedroom, stripping my clothes off as I went and dumping them into the hamper in the corner of the adjoining bathroom. I flicked on the shower and stepped into the steaming hot water. Tig always commented on how pink my skin was when I was done. I washed all the grease from my hands and arms before tipping my head back with my eyes closed letting the water run over them and down through my hair. I always wore it long and loose. Tig liked it that way._

 _I felt the temperature of the water drop before I felt his hand run down my side and cup my ass. I smiled and leaned back into him. "I thought you were going to be late."_

" _I wouldn't be anywhere else the night before your birthday baby." he murmured against my ear._

" _Hmm." I murmured as his hand traveled back across my hip and down between my folds and over the slick wetness of my opening._

" _You like that baby?" He murmured before trailing the tip of his tongue along the back of my ear._

" _You know I do Tiggy." I gasped as I felt his fingers slide into me. "Oh god Tig." I moaned pressing my head back into his chest as his other hand held tight to my body while his fingers continued to dip in and out of me._

" _That's it my little jail bait." He murmured against my ear as he felt my walls begin to tighten around his fingers. "Come for me baby."_

 _The sound of my own moan and whimpers filled my ears as the electrifying heat of my orgasm began to rip through me. "Fuck Tiggy." I gasped as I came down from my high and his fingers slid from me._

 _He turned me in his embrace and lowered his lips to mine, pressing them hard against them. I drank in his taste and smell just like I did every time he kissed me. I'm sure most of the crow eaters and even_ _some of the_ _other old ladies thought I was infatuated with Tig, in way over my head and maybe I was, but I loved him and I knew he loved me. I knew that with what he said next._

" _Katherine baby." He murmured as he held me close, pressing my naked body against his own, "I_ _can't wait to_ _ink my crow on you tomorrow."_

 _I smiled a small smile up at him, glad that he still wanted to. Dad had made us wait until I was legal and a small part me had always been afraid that he would change his mind._

" _I can't wait either Tiggy." I said reaching up and brushing my fingers across his lips._

 _He kissed my finger before he spoke again. "Happy early birthday my little jail bait."_

" _I'm not your little jail bait any more from tomorrow." I said back._

 _I noticed the slight frown that fell across his face before his features softened once again as he spoke. "You'll always be my little jail bait baby." He said running his fingers down my cheek._

* * *

I swiped the tears away from my eyes as I thought back upon that night and how happy I'd been. I didn't want Tara seeing them. I couldn't let anyone see how much he was getting under my skin again.


	9. Chapter 9

9/

I sat back to back with Tara, in dim light of a basement, a pole between us that we were both tied to with our hands behind our backs. We had learned through listening to the two that had taken us that they were Hector Salazar and his girl, Luisa. What they had to gain from taking us I still wasn't sure.

"So you still have Tig's crow?" Tara asked me.

"Yeah." I answered with a heavy sigh.

"I heard about how messy your break up with him was. Thought you would have had Happy cover it over."

"I thought about it and Happy has offered but I don't really want to give him any ideas that it makes me his."

"Well you are sleeping with him."

"On occasion but that's all it is. It's just sex Tara. I'm not his old lady."

"Maybe you're just not ready to admit that you and Tig are completely over."

I sighed. "I don't know Tara. Maybe. Being pulled back into the club and this huge shit storm is kinda forcing me to address it all quicker than I wanted to."

"You were young when he put it on you right?"

"Yeah. 18. Dad made us wait until I was legal." I answered thinking back.

* * *

 _I smiled a slightly uncertain smile and bit my lip as I entered the clubhouse on the day of my 18th birthday. I knew Jax and my mom had organized a huge party, but before that something else was set to happen. Something I'd been waiting for for nearly two years. I was so nervously excited that finally I was going to have Tig's crow inked on me._

" _Happy birthday baby girl." Dad greeted me as I entered._

" _Thanks Daddy." I smiled. He noticed my nervous anticipation._

" _Tig mentioned to me that he plans to put his crow on you today. You sure you want that?"_

" _Yes Daddy. I love him."_

" _I know you do. That's what scares me."_

" _Daddy I know I was young when Tig I got together but you never said it couldn't happen."_

" _You have your mother to thank for that." He answered._

" _He's protected me from so much over the last few years. He loves me and he's not going to hurt me."_

" _Kat you know I trust Tig to take care of you but inking his crow on you? Being his old lady? That's a big step."_

" _I've been his old lady for well over a year now Dad. I'm ready to make it official."_

" _Okay baby girl. So long as you know it's what you want."_

" _It is what I want Daddy." I said resolutely with a smile as I leaned in to kiss his cheek._

" _Hey Kitty Kat!" Tig greeted me as he sauntered through the clubhouse doors a moment later. "You ready for my ink?" He said wrapping his arms around my waist and running his lips down my neck._

 _I giggled as his stubble tickled my neck. "Aha." I answered watching the smile come across my father's face. His blue gray eyes got this sparkle to them when he was truly happy and I saw that sparkle there now. I knew seeing how happy Tig made me, made him happy also._

" _Hey lovebirds. You ready to get this done?" the unmistakable rasp of Happy Lowman's voice rang out. I gasped and bit my lip as the meaning of his words sank in. Happy was the enforcer of the Tacoma charter. He had a large and foreboding presence. I knew he was well trusted and admired by Samcro but truth be told he had always made my spine tingle with fear._

" _He's tattooing me?" I whispered urgently to Tig before he could turn me around to face the large bald headed man that I'd grown up fearing._

" _Relax Doll. He's not nearly as scary as you think."_

" _He's killed people Tiggy." I continued to whisper in his ear._

 _Tig chuckled. "Baby girl you know I have too."_

" _But you don't keep a tattoo tally of them all. How many is he up to now?"_

" _Doll he's good at what he does and that includes tattooing. I wouldn't trust anyone else to do your ink." he said gazing directly into my eyes._

" _Okay well if you trust him."_

" _With my life Kitty Kat." He murmured._

 _I nodded and allowed him to lead me over to where Happy waited._

" _Where are you putting it?" The tall bald headed biker asked._

" _Right here. Just above that beautiful perky ass." Tig said running his hand across the small of my back._

" _That's my cue to leave." Dad said from across the clubroom._

" _Hey. Sorry man." I blushed as Tig apologized to him. "You know I love your daughter's assets."_

" _You don't say." Dad said as he left the clubroom._

 _Happy handed Tig a razor and a tube of numbing cream. "You know what to do brother." He said as he set up his inks and pulled on a pair of latex gloves. I cast my eye across them and then laid them on the tattoo gun that lay beside them. I drew in a deep breath and bit my bottom lip as I felt Tig run the cold gel of the numbing cream across my back._

 _Happy saw my trepidation. "You'll be fine okay?" He said._

 _I nodded as I heard the raspy voice directed at me. I didn't know what else I was supposed to do._

 _A nervous anticipation took over me as Happy and Tig swapped spots. Tiggy sat in front of me and took my face in his hands as Happy sat behind and prepared to begin my tattoo._

* * *

I smiled at remembering how much I used to be afraid of Happy.

I sighed. "It'd probably break him even more if I had Happy cover it." I said thinking out loud rather than continuing the conversation at hand.

"Yeah. I reckon it would."

"Enough chit chat ladies." Salazar interrupted them as he came down the basement stairs. "Who do I call to make a deal with?"

"They've got no money." Tara answered him and then recoiled at the sharp slap that met her cheek, put there by Luisa.

"I didn't ask that. Who do I call?" Salazar asked again.

Without thinking I reeled off the garage number knowing that someone would be there. I knew whether they had the money he wanted or not they'd figure out someway to get us back.

I figured Chuckie had answered the phone when Salazar began to bark impatiently down the phone,

"Who's this?"

"Get me a patched member!"

"You a patched member?"

I continued to listen intently hoping to find out at least some inkling of what this was all about.

"I got myself two doctors here that I believe belong to you. I need the Sons to kill Alvarez and steal $250,000 from his safe and deliver it to me if you want to see them alive again."

Salazar suddenly gave an exasperated sigh before putting the phone to Tara's ear. "Tell them it's true." He said.

"Piney? It's true. He has me and Kat too."

Salazar whipped the phone away from her ear as quickly as he'd put it there. "So you see? Deliver or they die." he barked down the phone before slamming it shut in his hand and stalking back up the stairs.

Left alone in the room again I could tell Tara was as anxious and scared as I was. "They'll do everything they can to get us out of here." I said to reassure her.

"I'm sure they will." She said. "You know Tig would do anything for you right?"

I sighed a long drawn out sigh. "Yeah. I know that." I admitted.

"He still loves you Kat. We can all see it."

"Yeah. I'm beginning to see it too."

"If we get out of here do you think you'll give him another chance?"

"I don't know Tara. There's so much we need to get through first."

I felt her hand brush across mine in a reassuring way. "Do you still love him?" She asked me.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip as I thought carefully about my words. "I think there was a part of me that never stopped loving him but I need to able to trust him again if I'm going to let him back in."

She held my hand briefly and gave it squeeze. "You'll sort it out Kat."

I rested my head back against the pole between us and swallowed back the tears that were forming behind my eyes. "Maybe." I said quietly not even able to admit to myself yet how much I wanted to be able to let him back in.

"We could be here a while. We should try to get some sleep." Tara said still holding my hand behind our backs.

With a lack of windows in the basement we were being held in I had no idea how long had passed when we heard footsteps at the top of the stairs again. I had drifted in and out of fits of sleep but hadn't actually managed anything near restful.

"Times up ladies." Salazar announced as he hit the bottom step. "You're club hasn't delivered so I've got no choice." He said leaning forward to cut Tara free.

"Wait. They will come for us."

"I didn't ask for an opinion." he said kicking her to the ground. I heard her whimper and saw her hands fly protectively to her stomach as his foot came flying at her again.

"Stop. I'm pregnant!" She cried out as she'd tried desperately to protect her unborn baby.

He looked to me for affirmation. "It's true. She is." I said hoping he would stop.

His phone began to ring in his pocket and he whipped it out looking at the caller display.

"You're late." He said as he flipped it open and placed it against his ear.

"I need proof." He barked down the phone and a moment later, "You're up Blondie. Tell them you're okay." he said as he placed the phone at the side of my head.

"Kitty Kat?" Tig's voice carried down the line. I swallowed hard. I'd never been so glad to hear it.

"I'm okay Tig." I said trying hard to choke back my tears.

"We're gonna get you both outta there baby." he assured me. "You hang in there okay?"

"Yeah." I answered not knowing what else to say before Salazar pulled the phone away from my ear.

He walked up the stairs still barking something down the line to Tig as Tara pushed herself back up from the ground.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah. I think so." She answered running her hand across her abdomen. "How do you think Jax is going to take my news?"

"I don't think he ever truly got over it when you left Tara. You might have only been back for a little while but he loves you. He'll make it work."

She smiled. "Thanks Kat." she said as Luisa came down the stairs.

"Hector sent me to check on you bitches. Need anything?" She announced.

"I need the bathroom." Tara said from where she sat beside me.

Luisa sighed. "Fine. Get up both of you." She said grabbing a hold of me and pulling me to my feet while Tara struggled to hers. She maintained a tight grip on me while pushing a gun into Tara's back.

"Bathrooms upstairs." She said pushing us both up the stairs to the house above.

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the brightness of the sunshine that suddenly hit them but once they did I darted my eyes around me looking for an escape.

"Don't even think about trying anything." Luisa said as she noticed.

She opened a door at the top of the stairs. "Piss quickly bitch." She said pushing Tara into the bathroom. Tara closed the door and I hoped that she had enough smarts about her and this life to have a plan hatched up. With Luisa now pointing the gun at me I knew I had little chance at escape.

"Where's Hector?" I asked hoping to distract her.

"Out bargaining for your release."

"You don't expect me to believe your just gonna let us go after all this?" I asked.

"You maybe but not Teller's girl. You were just in the wrong place. Who's old lady are you anyway?"

"No one's. I just never got it covered." I stupidly responded.

"If you're no one's old lady anymore what are still doing hanging around with them?" She asked skeptically.

I knew I should shut my mouth before I revealed they had more leverage against the Sons than they had previously realized. "I'm still friends with Tara." I said hoping she believed me.

Her attention on me wavered as I mentioned Tara, making her realize how long she was taking. "Stay here. Don't move." She ordered as she opened the bathroom door gun held out in front of her. I heard her scream as Tara grabbed her from behind the door, the gun falling from her hands. I took the opportunity to clamber forward and grab it from the floor at her feet. I turned and drew the gun on her just in time to see Tara drive a piece of broken glass into the side of her neck.

"Shit." I swore. "I was hoping you had a plan." I said knowing it would likely be a fatal wound if she weren't to receive medical treatment fast.

Tara raised her eyebrows at me. "Help me get her into the tub." She said as we both heard a car pull up outside. It had to Salazar back.

I placed the gun aside on the counter before I grabbed the Spanish woman's legs and helped Tara lay her in the bath tub as she continued to bleed out.

"Luisa?" We heard Salazar call from downstairs.

Tara grabbed the gun from the counter I had laid it upon and made her way to the top of the stairs holding it in front of her. I wasn't sure if she'd ever fired a gun before and hoped she knew what she was doing going up against Salazar.

He looked up to the top of the stairs a look of surprise upon his face. "Where's Luisa?"

"She's bleeding out in the bathroom." Tara informed him.

His face dropped as he rushed up the stairs past her. "Luisa baby?" He cried bursting into the bathroom and pulling the shower curtain aside, finding her lying there barely conscious, blood oozing from her neck.

"I can keep her alive." Tara said. "Just let Kat go though. It's me you wanted anyway."

I looked over to her surprised that she would bargain for my release over her own.

Salazar scooped Luisa into his arms and moved quickly down the stairs to his car where he laid her over the backseat. "Get in there and keep her alive." He barked at Tara. I knew that was near impossible considering how much the woman had already bled out. "You get in the front." he barked at me.

I did so having no idea what was going through his mind or what he had planned.

He floored the accelerator and sped off from the roadside, making his way quickly toward the center of town.

I had no time to realize what was going on before he pulled up in front of Charming police station, leaned over and opened my door only to push me out of it and speed off.

I scrambled to my feet as Unser and a female officer in plain clothes that I didn't recognize came bursting out the doors.

"Is this one of them?" The female officer asked. I looked around at her before Unser answered and immediately decided I didn't like her.

"Yeah. It's Kat." Unser answered helping me to my feet.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Unser asked me.

"Yeah. I think so." I answered him as he helped me into the station, the side of my arm grazed from where I'd hit the pavement.

"So this is the Samcro Princess?" The woman officer asked.

"Yeah. Clay's daughter. Give her a minute before you start interrogating her alright?" Unser said casting his eyes at the woman.

The woman raised her eyebrows at him as he sat me down on a chair and passed me a glass of water. She ignored him and began questioning me anyway.

"Why'd hey cut you loose?" She asked.

"I'm sorry but who are you?" I asked.

"How remiss of me. Stahl. Agent June Stahl." She answered an air of pompousness about her.

"Is that like Bond. James Bond?" I couldn't help but quip at her.

She raised her eyebrows again. I could tell this was a woman who didn't like someone smart mouthing back at her. I didn't know then why she was in town but I did know she had picked the wrong town and it's crowd to mess with.


	10. Chapter 10

10/

"Kitty Kat!" Tig exclaimed bursting into the police precinct sometime later. Stahl had fast become bored with questioning me when she saw I wasn't going to cooperate or answer any of her questions with a useful answer. "Are you okay?" He asked pulling me up into his arms.

"I'm fine Tiggy." I said letting him wrap his arms around me. I knew I pressed my face to his chest too hard and knew I held onto him too long before I drew away to find both Unser and Stahl's eyes upon us.

"We'll continue to look for Tara but you should probably get her to the hospital. That graze looks particularly nasty." Stahl said with what I'd come to think of as an air of arrogance.

"Yeah, sure. C'mon Kat. Let's get outta here." He said starting to lead me out.

"You ah … didn't drive did you?" Unser asked Tig hesitantly.

"Nah man. You said I can't." Tig griped as he took my good arm and led me outside.

I saw the tow truck with Kozik sitting behind the wheel and raised my eyebrows. "How'd it go sharing a ride with him again?" I asked.

"He's actually been really good in helping to get you girls back." He admitted.

I raised my eyebrows again. I knew it was a big thing for him to admit that.

"That Stahl bitch really presses hard." I commented as I slid into the car to sit in the middle between the two of them.

"You didn't give her anything did you?" Kozik asked.

"Course not."

"Kat would never rat douche bag." Tig said from beside me as Kozik started the engine.

"I wasn't suggesting she would." Kozik defended himself.

"Just drive to the hospital Blondie." Tig said.

"Clubhouse." I commented back, hoping to break the tension between them.

"But she said you should go to the hospital." Tig protested.

"Who's the doctor here Tig? It's fine. Nothing I can't take care of myself."

"If you're sure."

"Yeah. I am."

* * *

I made my way to the apartment once we arrived back at the lot and pulled some antiseptic from the bathroom cabinet. I cringed a little as I cleaned the graze on my arm. It probably was something I should have gone to the hospital for but I knew I could take care of it just as well.

I tried not to take too long as I knew they wanted to know what I knew about Salazar and where he may have taken Tara.

"So what happened?" Piney asked me as soon as I reentered the clubroom.

"He cut me loose after Tara bargained for him to. She said she'd keep his girlfriend alive after she slit her throat but there's no way she can. She will die and I'm afraid of what that means for Tara."

"Jesus! Why'd she do that?" Tig asked.

"It was extreme but it got us … well me … out of there."

"Where's he taking her?" Kozik asked.

"I don't know." I answered with a sigh. I looked around and met all their gazes before I continued.

"Look I don't know what this is all about but he's desperate and very irrational. I really think you need to call the rest of the club home."

Tig nodded. "They're heading back tonight anyways but we need to at least give them a heads up on this." He said picking up the burner that sat on the table in front of him. He stood and moved away to call Jax.

"Did they find Abel?" I asked neither Piney or Kozik as I watched Tig across the room. He seemed edgy, nervous like he thought he should have been able to handle the club in their absence.

"Yeah. We got word earlier today that their headed back with him."

"And he's okay?"

"Yeah not a scratch on him. He's been well cared for over there." Kozik said.

"Kitty Kat." Tig said returning to the table, "You got a minute?"

"Yeah." I said rising from my seat and following him outside. I knew he didn't want Kozik's eyes on us, or Piney's for that matter.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine Tig." I said trying to brush it aside. I knew he'd seen the fear in my eyes; knew that I'd held on a little longer than necessary when he'd hugged me. Being close to him again and the conversation I'd had with Tara had me questioning whether I could or should give him another chance.

"I was worried about you Kitty Kat." he admitted.

"I was okay Tig. It all worked out and it will with Tara too when the rest of the guys are back."

"You know I'd do anything for you baby girl." He said growing serious and sincere on me.

"Yeah. I do." I said with a sigh.

He took my hand in his. "Kitty Kat," he began, "there's something you should know." he said seriously looking directly into my eyes for a moment before looking away again.

"And that is?" I pressed him.

"I still love you Kitty Kat." he said meeting my gaze again. I knew that wasn't what he'd intended to say and there was something far bigger that he had been trying to tell me instead.

"I know you do Tig." I answered him, "but I'm not ready for anything to start between us again."

"Kat, please baby. We can make it work."

"I'm not so sure Tig. You hurt me in so many ways."

"Look baby there's something coming up in the future that might make you see how serious I am about us."

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"It doesn't matter. You'll see okay?"

I sighed. "Where's my car? I wanna go home." I suddenly wasn't in the mood for his mind games.

"It's in the garage. I'll get your keys." he said standing and heading across the lot to the garage.

I watched him go and knew he was holding something back. I always could. All the times he'd lied to me over the years, and all the times he'd only told me half the truth.

* * *

" _H_ _ey baby. You got no idea how much I missed you." Tig said pulling me to him as I got out of my car._

" _Tiggy, It's only been a week!" I said with a giggle as he littered my neck with kisses._

" _The longest week of my life baby." he murmured against my ear._

 _I giggled again. "How are you gonna last with me being gone for the better part of six years Tiggy?" I asked._

" _Maybe I'll have to visit more often than I said." He said wrapping his arms around my waist. "Right now though your gonna get back in that car and follow me somewhere."_

" _Where's that?" I asked seeing a playful glint in his steely blue eyes._

" _You'll see. It's a bit of a surprise." He said opening my car door for me. I'd only just gotten out of it after driving for nearly five hours._

" _Wait Tiggy. I gotta go speak to Mom before you whisk me away." I protested._

 _He sighed and fixed me with a look that I knew meant he wasn't willing to wait long for me. I kissed his cheek and made my way to the garage where I knew Mom would be finishing up for the day._

" _There's my college girl!" Mom greeted me as soon as he saw me in the office doorway._

 _I smiled as she rose and made her way around the desk to embrace me. I knew she and Dad were proud of me and had been from the moment I'd been accepted into an accelerated medical degree at UCLA._

" _How was your first week baby?" She asked drawing away from me with the biggest smile on her face._

" _I_ _t was good Mom." I said unable to resist returning her smile._

" _Only good?" She joked._

 _I smiled. "Okay it was great! Everything I expected it would be." I beamed. "How were things around here?" I asked hesitantly with a glance out toward Tig where he stood impatiently by my car._

" _He's been moping all week if that's what you mean." She said placing her arm around my shoulders as she led me to the doorway._

 _I sighed. "I'm sorry Mom. He knows how much I want this and he agreed to let me go."_

" _Don't ever apologize for your dreams sweetheart. You and Tig will figure out how to make this work."_

 _I sighed again. "I hope so."_

" _Baby it's only the first week._ _I_ _t's gonna take some getting used to for both of you. Right now I don't think you should keep him waiting any longer." She said glancing toward Tig where he waited growing increasingly impatient._

" _Do you know what he has planned?" I asked._

" _You'll see." She said a knowing glint in her eyes._

 _I smiled placing a kiss on mom's cheek. "I'll stop by the house later and fill you in on everything okay?"_

" _Okay baby." She said as I backed away. She blew me a kiss as I turned away. I caught it and blew one back with a smile. It was something we'd done since I was kid._

" _Finally." Tig growled wrenching the door of my car open. "Get in and keep up." he said before he closed my door and stalked over to his bike._

 _I sighed at his insistence of not letting me ride with him. It wasn't the first time I'd watched him swing his leg over his bike and wished that I were climbing on behind him, wrapping my arms tight around his waist, taking in the smell of his cologne as it wafted back to me on the breeze._

 _I turned the key in the ignition and put my car into gear and readied to pull out behind him as I pushed the fantasy from my mind. It was all I could do to keep up as he tore through the streets of Charming in front of me. I was sure I was going to get pulled over for speeding before he finally slowed and pulled his bike off the road and into a driveway._

 _I looked through my windshield at the house in front of me and cast a confused look out at him. It wasn't a house I recognized as belonging to anyone from the club so I wondered why he'd brought me here as I slid from my car and made my way over to him where he stood beside his bike._

" _What's going on Tig? Whose place is this?" I asked._

 _He placed his arm around my waist and drew me close before pulling something from his pocket and holding it in front of me._

" _A key?" I asked still feeling a little confused._

" _This place is yours Kitty Kat. Ours." He said placing the key in my hand._

 _I gazed at him, incredulous. "You bought a house?"_

 _He just nodded and watched my reaction. "But what about the house we had?"_

" _You know the rent was nearly up and I figured why not buy a place that's ours? A place you can come home to."_

 _I smiled. "That's so sweet Tig."_

" _C'mon." He said grabbing my wrist and pulling me toward the door. "You get to open it."_

 _I grinned up at him as I slid the key into the lock and pushed the front door open. I looked around to see all of our things set out neatly around the lounge room and a small but ample kitchen beyond._

" _Wow. You did all this in just a week?"_

" _I've had the house in the works for a while and some of the guys helped me move all our stuff in."_

" _You're amazing Tig." I said as I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck and raised myself up to kiss his lips._

* * *

I thought back upon how special that moment and that house had been to me, to us as I watched him return from the garage with my keys in hand. It had been a base for us as I came and went to college, at least for a while until things had started to unravel.

"I buffed the chrome of your bumper where that bitch scratched it when she rear ended ya." he said as he passed me my keys.

"Thanks Tiggy." I said with a sigh. I knew he was trying hard to show me he'd changed, that he was no longer the same person as he'd been all those years ago but I still wasn't sure if I believed it to be true.


	11. Chapter 11

11/

A familiar commanding knock sounded out against my front door later that evening. I recognized it instantly as Happy's and glanced at the clock perplexed. It was still early. He wouldn't be here for a booty call yet. I sighed as I headed to the door, knowing that the club had probably determined that I needed a tail again after everything that had gone down with Salazar.

"Jax!" I exclaimed, surprised to find him standing on my doorstep beside Happy. Tig stood meekly behind them. "What are you all doing here?" I asked as I let them in.

"We've got a favor to ask you Kat." Jax answered me as he entered and sat down on my sofa.

"Okay." I answered hesitantly as I closed the door behind Tig. "What's that?"

"Kat there's something the club needs to ask of you. I mean I was going to ask Tara but ..."

"Wait is Tara okay? And the baby? Wait shit! She told you about the baby right?" I tumbled out biting my lip and hoping I hadn't just put my foot in it.

To my relief Jax smiled. "Yeah, she told me about the baby. And she's fine Kat, the baby too."

"And Abel? Where is he? I haven't even seen him yet."

"He's with Mom. He's fine Kat. Perfect in fact."

I breathed out a huge sigh of relief. "I'm guessing Salazar's old lady didn't survive?"

"Nah. And I'm counting my lucky stars that Tara did." Jax answered me.

"Salazar's dead too by the way." Tig intoned from beside him. I nodded, meeting his gaze, a little surprised at the relief I felt at those words. I didn't need to know how it all went down which was why I steered the conversation back in it's original direction. "So this favor?"

Jax glanced toward Happy and Tig before he answered me. I knew there was a conversation I wasn't privy too going on silently between the three men in my lounge room. "Let's just say we have something that we need transported and we need you and your car."

"It's not anything illegal is it?" I asked, knowing I wasn't likely to like their answer.

"Not exactly." My brother answered.

"Not exactly? What does that even mean Jax?" I asked casting my eyes around at the three of them.

"There's only so much that I wanna tell you Kat; for your own protection, but we'll be making a transfer from the club's van to your car at a meeting point then we need you to drive it straight to the lot."

I sighed. "Why me?" I asked.

"I don't want Tara involved and Tig mentioned that your driving was pretty impressive when you were catching up to us to help Mom escape."

I glanced at Tig and met the approval, almost pride in his eyes. "Okay. What do I need to do?"

I could sense the relief but also trepidation in each of them that I'd agreed to help out. "Happy will stay behind and fill you in." Jax said rising from the couch and over to where I stood beside the island bench in my kitchen.

"Thanks for doing this for us Kat." He said resting his hand on my shoulder briefly as he leaned in to kiss the top of my head.

"Sure Jax. Hey, when can I see Abel?"

"Tomorrow morning before we head out. Mom's got this whole welcome home shindig planned. She'll probably call you later to help out."

"Okay." I answered quietly.

I met his gaze as he pulled away and saw there the weight of this world on his shoulders. I couldn't help but wonder what else was going on. He quickly diverted his gaze, making the unsettled feeling I already had rise. He headed toward the door where Happy continued to stand. I tried to make eyes at him but he wouldn't meet my gaze as he conferred quietly with Jax and Tig before they left.

I watched as Happy wordlessly closed my front door and turned to make his way to the kitchen. I sighed and followed. I knew what they had asked me to do must have all sorts of potential ramifications. He had all sorts of serious, freaky vibes going on right now and I knew not to ask for any clarification until he offered it.

He opened my fridge and pulled out a bottle of water that he opened as he sat on a stool at the side of the counter. I glanced at him and tried to meet his gaze but he avoided it. I could usually read Happy and I hated it when I couldn't.

"I'm guessing tomorrow could be dangerous." I stated rather than asked.

"Yeah." was all he offered in return.

"So … what exactly should I expect?"

He let out a sigh before he answered. "The cops will be tracing our van and they can't find what we'll have inside it, so we need you to wait where we say and make the transfer like Jax said, then you drive as fast as you can back to the lot."

"Will someone be with me?" I asked, his seriousness and hard set expression beginning to scare me more.

"You'll have a prospect with you and Chuckie will be waiting at the lot."

"Chuckie will? Where will you guys all be?"

"Leading the cops away from your tail."

"All of you?"

He sighed and finally met my gaze. "We got a lot going on tomorrow. You just do your part."

I nodded and pushed myself away from the counter. I knew I wasn't going to get anything else out of him. "I'm gonna go take a shower, then I'm gonna call it a night okay?" I said half hoping he'd join me.

"Yeah. Okay." he said not moving from where he sat.

I sighed and headed toward my bedroom. I hadn't seen him so serious and edgy for a long time. Even when he was camped out in my lounge room having been tasked to watch me he was always less edgy than he was tonight. I didn't want to think about why that was. I knew whatever they had going on tomorrow must be dangerous and that they must be desperate to ask me to help.

I flicked the water on and stepped in, letting the heat of it turn my skin pink. I tried hard to rid my mind of all the things that were beginning to scare me about what they'd asked me to do.

Letting the water cascade through my hair and melt away my fears, I closed my eyes and tipped my head back to let the water run over my face and let out a sigh as I switched the water off and stepped out to wrap a towel around myself. I ran my fingers through my wet hair and squeezed the excess water from it as I reached for my hair dryer. My ears pricked up as I heard the front door open and then close again. I stuck my head out the bathroom door. "Hap? Is someone here?" I called.

I frowned when I got no answer and placed the hair dryer aside letting my hair fall wet down my back as I made my way out to the lounge room.

I screamed with surprise when I got there. "Tig! What the hell? Where's Happy gone?" I said frantically readjusting my towel.

"Jax needed him back at the clubhouse."

"What and you volunteered to watch me?"

"Jax doesn't want you alone Kitty Kat." he offered.

I sighed wanting once again to tell him to stop calling me that but the words wouldn't come to my lips and I knew that once again I was having trouble keeping him from creeping back into my heart.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat as I watched him lean into the back of my sofa as his eyes unashamedly looked me up and down where I stood before him wrapped only in a towel. I was completely unsure of his intentions and how the rest of the night would unfold. I think I knew being left alone with him in my own house I'd be unable to keep my guard up and continue to resist him.

I bit my lip as silence descended between us; both of us unsure of how to continue.

It was him who broke the silence. "It's been a while since I've seen you dressed in so little." he said with a smirk.

I tried to scowl at him but couldn't help the smile that came to my lips seeing that smirk. "I'm gonna go put some clothes on, then maybe we could talk seeing as your here."

He nodded and watched me leave the room, I knew once again looking me up and down with approval for what he saw.

He was sitting on the sofa flicking through channels when I returned. I bit my lip at how comfortable and familiar it felt seeing him there. I took a deep breath before I sat down beside him. To my surprise he switched the TV off and turned to me.

"Are you okay Kitty Kat?" He asked sincerely.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I answered not sure where his line of questioning was going to go.

"Salazar. You sure he didn't hurt you at all?" He asked with the utmost sincerity.

"No Tig. He didn't do anything." I answered turning toward him and meeting his gaze. I was surprised at what I found there. The blue of his eyes was softer than I recalled seeing it for sometime.

"And tomorrow, what we've asked you to do? Are you okay with that?" he asked I could tell wanting to touch me by taking my hand in his.

"Yeah. I guess. I mean it scares me a little." I admitted.

"You'll be safe Kitty Kat. I won't let anything happen to you."

I saw the sincerity in his eyes and I knew he meant what he'd said. I'd seen that look there many times before and I knew that I could trust it. I bit my lip knowing even in that moment that I was ready to let him back in.

I nodded slowly. "I trust you Tig." I said quietly.

"I really am sorry for everything that went down between us doll." He said suddenly.

"Everything?" I asked.

"Yeah everything. All the sweet butts, all the other girls, even Amelia."

"You don't have to apologize for anything that you did after we'd split Tig."

"But I do Kat. I saw the hurt in your eyes when you were patching me up."

I met his gaze. I'd been hoping he hadn't noticed how much that had affected me.

"And what about the baby?" I asked quietly letting my gaze fall to my lap.

"There are no words for how sorry I am about how I treated you then Kitty Kat." he said placing his hand against mine. I allowed him to take it into his as I met his gaze. I knew his words were sincere.

"You pushed me away Tiggy; refused to acknowledge it as yours." I said, a tear sliding down my cheek.

"I was stupid to do that baby. I had my own shit going on that had nothing to do with you and our baby."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah I remember you said that."

"I should have supported you baby. I shouldn't have pushed you away and I shouldn't have slept with Ima."

I bit my lip and met his gaze. "When I lost that baby Tiggy all I wanted was for you to hold me and tell me we were going to be okay even after everything you'd said, but instead I found you in bed with her." I said, no longer able to choke back my tears.

"I'm so sorry baby. I handled everything wrong."

"Yeah. We both did." I said glancing at him briefly before dropping my gaze again. "I shouldn't have slept with Kozik."

"I know why you did Kitty Kat. I deserved every bit of pain you cast my way after that."

"I said some horrible stuff Tiggy."

"We both did Kat."

I nodded slowly. "You know why I couldn't let you back in Tig?"

"I know Kitty Kat. I know." he said hanging his head.

I took my free hand and chipped his chin up tom make him meet my gaze again. "Despite it all, I think I'm ready to forgive you."

"I never stopped loving you Kitty Kat." He said placing his hand at my cheek and wiping my tears away with his thumb.

Despite my better judgment I leaned toward him and placed my lips cautiously against his. He let his hand slide to the back of my neck as he pressed his lips harder against mine. I drew away and met his gaze briefly before I leaned back in to kiss him once more. As his lips molded to mine I felt my body begin to burn for him in the same way it used to when I was teenager. He pulled me up from the sofa and ran his hands down across my hips and pulled me closer, closing any space between us as his lips continued to pillage my own.

I knew we had left it too long to address everything that had gone on between us. I also knew that I was ready to let him back in as I allowed him to lead me to my bedroom.

* * *

 **A/N: So we have a little more of Tig and Kat's past revealed in this chapter and in the chapters to come there will be further clarification on most things that they have referred to. There is still more for them to work through but for now I guess you could say they are exploring old paths.**


	12. Chapter 12

12/

I rolled to find him bare chested and still asleep beside me the next morning. I let out a sigh and placed my hand against his chest allowing it to linger on the tattoo I knew he'd gotten in memory of Donna. I pushed her from my mind. We hadn't addressed everything last night but it had been a start.

I bit my lip as he began to stir. He rolled to face me, making my hand placed against his chest slide to his shoulder. "Morning Kitty Kat." he murmured.

"Morning." I greeted him back leaving my fingers where they were on his shoulder, letting them trace up and down his arm a little. I didn't regret last night; not one part of it.

He lifted his head and placed his lips softly against mine. "I've missed you baby."

"I missed you too." I murmured, thinking back upon his tenderness the night before. It had been good to feel him bare fleshed against me once more, his lips soft across my body before he'd entered me slowly making love to me.

He kissed me once more trailing his fingers down my cheek, "We should get up." He murmured.

"Yeah we should." I said with a smile before I leaned forward to meet his lips again. My mind still grappled with many issues form our past but deep in my heart I felt that I could trust him again. Maybe he really was a changed man. I knew he'd been sincere when we'd talked the previous night and when he'd touched me the burn that pulsated through me had been so familiar, like there hadn't been years between the last time I'd felt it.

He traced his fingers down the side of my neck and pressed his hand at it's nape as he returned my kiss. I knew the way my body began to mold to his that I could easily let him take me again. I moaned into his mouth as I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. I knew he was right and we had to get up. I drew away.

"Mom will be waiting for me to help set everything up for Abel's thing." I said.

"Yeah." Was all he said letting his fingers trail across my arm as I rolled out of bed. "Kitty Kat?" He called me back as I headed toward the bathroom. I turned back and cast my eyes back questioningly at him. I could see in his eyes he had something ticking away that he wanted to tell me. "Thanks." was all he quietly said.

"What for?" I asked.

"For giving me another chance."

I gave him a small smile in return as I turned back to the bathroom and hoped my eyes didn't betray my thoughts. I'd enjoyed being with again but I knew there was still so much we hadn't addressed and also knew that wasn't what he'd been meaning to say. I tried to push aside my feelings that he was hiding something from me. If I was completely honest with myself I knew I still wasn't quite sure that we could last. But I guessed only time would tell.

* * *

"So when do you need me?" I asked Jax later that morning as I cleared away some plates from the bar.

"We're still working out the details. Can you hang here until we need you?" He asked.

"Yeah. I spose I can." I answered, looking around the clubhouse and the mess that it was in after the morning's celebrations.

"Thanks Kat. We'll fill you in as soon as we can." He said heading toward the door.

I sighed once again wondering what I'd gotten myself into.

It was mid afternoon when I stood leaning against the side my car at the roadside where they'd told me to wait. I glanced up the slope of the road behind me, feeling like my heart was in my throat as I waited for them to appear over the horizon. I cast my thoughts back to the morning that had just transpired in an effort to distract myself.

Mom had been in her element flitting about making sure everyone was fed and cared for and happy and holding Abel in my arms, seeing how perfect and unharmed he was had been the best. Everyone had been at ease, the guys all sweeping aside whatever heavy shit was going on to welcome Abel home. And Lyla, she'd announced that she and Opie were getting married. While I was happy for them I had to admit I was a little taken aback. I know I hadn't spent a lot of time around the club lately but I was surprised that he had moved on from Donna. It seemed too quick but it wasn't my decision to make.

And then when it was all cleaned up and done shit got serious again. I stood with Opie as he pointed out on a map where I needed to go and Jax had handed me a flack jacket which he insisted I put on. They still hadn't told me what it was they were transporting though.

I glanced up at the approaching sound of Harleys and saw the club's van head over the rise of the hill behind my car, heavily flanked. I drew in a deep breath as I picked Tig and Jax out among them. They rode past me and Happy pulled up beside me in the van. I watched as Happy jumped out of the driver's seat and ran toward the back opening it and allowing Phil and Miles to jump out.

"Key's baby." Tig said getting off his bike and heading to my side. I passed them to him and watched as he opened the trunk of my car.

"Jesus Christ." I muttered as I watched Happy and the prospects remove their 'package'; a well dressed man with a sack over his head and his hands tied behind his back, from the van and place him into the trunk of my car. Tig slammed the lid down and handed me my keys back and ushered me to the driver's side door.

"Drive straight to the lot." Jax ordered Miles as he moved around and opened my passenger door to slide in.

"Absolutely." he responded.

"Go baby." Dad said to me as he passed me on the way back to his bike.

I took a deep breath as I slid behind the wheel and put the keys into the ignition.

I floored the accelerator and pulled away from the side of the road. I noted Phil's white knuckles as he gripped tight to the handhold above his head. I smiled a little to myself at the big man's edginess. I knew my car and how to handle it around the twists and bends of this road that wound it's way through the hills that surrounded Charming.

I slowed a little as I hit the highway turnoff into Charming, having been told to not draw attention to myself once I was in town. My anxiousness began to subside the closer I got to the lot and I breathed in a huge sigh of relief as I drove into it and watched Chuckie close the large security gate behind me.

I expertly reversed my car into the garage as I'd been instructed to do and half wondered whether I should pop the lid of the trunk to give the man in it some air.

"All the other old ladies are in the clubhouse." Miles said interrupting my thoughts. "We'll take care of it from here." He added letting me know my role in all this was done.

I nodded and gave a brief polite smile. I knew Tig had made it clear we were on again and that I was once again considered an old lady as I headed toward the clubhouse, glancing back behind me to see the garage door slide down, hiding both my car and the prospects from view.

* * *

"Are you okay baby?" Mom asked as soon as I entered the clubhouse.

"Yeah I'm fine." I answered letting her place her arm around me and pull me close. "So what happens now?" I asked as she led me over to the table she'd been sitting at with Tara and Lyla.

"Now we wait for them to get back." She answered somewhat edgily.

"What's going on Mom?" I asked. I could always tell when something had her rattled.

"I'm worried about your brother." She answered me with a heavy sigh. "I think he has some deal going on with the Stahl that's gonna put him in some real hot water with the club." She said quietly before we reached the table.

"What? Why would Jax do that?" I asked her in a hushed tone.

"I don't know baby. I guess if things go his way it'll reduce their prison time."

"Prison time? What prison time?"

"Oh shit. Tig didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?"

Mom sighed. "Their going away for federal weapons charges."

I turned on my heel and stormed from the clubroom. "Kat!" Mom called after me but I ignored her. I didn't bother asking how long. I wasn't stupid. I knew it could be years. I was furious with him for not telling me; sucking me back in; making me think he really had changed.

I leaned against the picnic table, my knuckles turning white for how hard I gripped it's edge as I stared out towards the gate waiting for him to return.

I watched them roll into the lot a short time later and waste no time in stalking over to Tig's bike. "You asshole!" I snarled at him nearly knocking him off his feet as I shoved him square in the chest with my fist.

"Whoa Kitty Kat. What's going on?" He asked as he steadied himself.

"You didn't think to tell me you were going to prison before you slept with me last night." I snarled knowing the eyes of the club were on us.

"Ah shit baby. I tried to tell you."

"Bullshit you did Tig." I said the tears I'd been trying to hold back sliding down my cheeks as the rest of the guys headed inside to give us space. "If you wanted to tell me you had your opportunity last night."

"Kitty Kat I'm sorry."

"Don't fucking call me that! Did last night mean anything to you or was it just a fuck before you go inside for god knows how long?"

"Baby." he pleaded. "Last night was great.

"Really? Have I ever meant anything to you Tig?"

"Yes Kitty Kat. You know what you mean to me."

"I'm not sure I do Tig."

"Kat I love you baby."

"Then why didn't you tell me Tig?" I said as tears began to sting my eyes.

"I tried baby. I just couldn't find the right words." He said forcing me to meet his gaze. I closed my eyes both in an effort to blink back the tears that welled there and so I could ignore the sincerity I saw in his.

"I can't do this Tig. We can't start out again like this." I said opening my eyes, resolute that I was not going to forgive him for this.

"Kitty Kat, we can make it work baby."

"No Tig. Not like this. You knew that if you'd told me last night we wouldn't have slept together. I thought you'd changed Tig. I really thought you'd changed but no; the lies just continue."

"Please baby ..." He said placing his hand against my arm.

"No Tig. I'm done." I said backing away as Mom and Dad sauntered into the lot from the clubhouse, I could tell both keeping their distance but anxious to know I was alright.

"Kat. C'mon baby."

I shook my head _'no'_ as I began to turn away "And I'm not visiting you in there." I said letting out a shaky sigh as I continued to fight back my tears.

I glanced across to where my parents stood, Dad staring my way until Mom turned his attention back to her by planting a kiss on his lips. Their attention was quickly diverted again as Jax rolled into the lot on his Harley with not one but two fed cars and a prison transport vehicle close behind him.

Mom and Dad walked across to meet Jax as he got off his bike. I found myself following alongside Tara who I hadn't noticed there before. I wondered how much she'd heard of the exchange between myself and Tig.

"Oh shit." I heard Jax murmur as Agent Stahl got out of the leading car.

"Where's Jimmy O?" she asked as she approached the growing group in the lot. I knew now that was the man they'd had me transport to the lot in the trunk of my car. Neither Dad or Jax gave her an answer. "Okay look I could have a dozen agents here in twenty minutes and they'll shred this white trash shithole."

"Get 'im." Dad reluctantly ordered to no one in particular. I watched as Tig and Juice who were closest to the garage doors rolled it up and released Jimmy O from the trunk of my charger. I watched as Jimmy was led away, gloating at his luck, to one of the waiting fed cars.

Stahl also watched as with her usual arrogant swagger she moved to stand beside Dad. I bit my lip, knowing there was more to her arrogance than usual. She was about to drop a bomb on the club and it wasn't going to end well.

"How did you know he was here?" Clay asked.

"Because your VP made a deal." she said.

"You son of a bitch!" Jax yelled from beside me. I spun around to watch him try to launch himself at Stahl.

"What's she talking about?" Dad said as a federal agent beside Stahl pushed Jax away and toward his clearly angry brothers.

"What? You made a deal for Jimmy?" Tig cried launching at Jax. A scuffle ensued between the patches as I looked on. I sucked in a breath knowing now that Mom's suspicions had been true. I knew now why she had been so worried. If Jax had made a deal that made him a rat. Rats got killed even if they were the VP or the President's step son.

"It wasn't his fault. She made him do it. He isn't a rat Clay." Mom tried desperately to interject tears welling in her eyes as even Dad looked ready to kill Jax the first moment he got. Bobby pushed her aside as the feds began to round up the patches, taking them into custody.

I fell in beside Mom as an officer took Dad by his shoulder. He turned back to Jax a murderous look in his eye. "You're dead. You hear me? Dead!" He growled pointing his free hand menacingly toward the man he'd raised as his own son for the most part of his life.

Even Tig glared menacingly at him as he too was led away. I found myself focusing on him as they began lining the guys up and frisking them before loading them into the waiting transport van.

As Tara ran to catch up to Jax and hug him to her, I could have sworn Tig winked at me as he glanced back. It was fleeting but I knew it meant something. Was this all part of some other plan?

I placed my arm around Mom who stood sobbing, fearing the worst for her son. She slid her arm around me and rested her head on mine as she watched them being placed one by one into the van.

Stahl turned to Ally Lowan, the club's lawyer and handed her the folders in her hand. "Your clients will be out in three years. Fourteen months if they don't kill anyone." She said with her usual arrogance.

As the van pulled out of the lot, Mom continued to sob beside me. I knew she thought Jax was already a dead man but I wasn't so sure. I knew the first day I'd come across Stahl that the club was smarter than her. Happy had told me the club had a lot going on today and there were so many of them not here right now. I hoped that wink Tig had given me meant everything was going to plan. A plan they had purposely kept from the rest of us to avoid anything going wrong.

I watched Stahl slide into her car and hoped it would be the last time I'd see her.


	13. Chapter 13

13/

"Mom?" I said knocking on her bedroom door. I don't know why I knocked seeing as it was open anyway. "The prospects wanted to see you." I continued.

She nodded with a small smile as she glanced up from Abel who lay asleep in her arms. I knew she was barely holding it together and the baby in her arms was nearly her whole world right now.

I stepped away from her doorway as Phil and Miles stepped past me. "Jax said to give you this." I heard Phil say as he entered the room, no doubt holding out the envelope that I'd seen in his hand when they'd arrived. "He said to read it and then burn it."

I bit my lip as I headed back to the lounge room. I had no doubt that letter detailed everything that had gone on today. I busied myself with folding a basket of washing Mom hadn't gotten to yet. I knew that wink Tig had given me earlier was supposed to be reassuring but in the back of my mind I still shuddered to think of what could be happening to Jax right now.

"Kat?" Miles interrupted my thoughts. "Where can we find Tara?"

"She's at Jax's." I answered. "Is anyone gonna tell me what the hell went down today?"

"You should talk to your mom in a bit." He answered.

I nodded. "Yeah okay." I answered watching them head out the door to their waiting bikes that stood in the driveway.

I finished folding the washing before I gathered it up and carried it into Mom's room. Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes as she glanced up at me placing aside the letter in her hand. I could tell they were tears of relief though as her whole demeanor seemed more relaxed than before.

I nodded my head toward the letter. "What does it say?" I asked as I placed the freshly folded pile of laundry on top of the dresser.

"Agent Stahl is dead. So is Jimmy O. And the club knew about the so called deal Jax made. It was all part of an elaborate plan to make her think she had the upper hand."

I nodded, a smile of relief washing over my face.

"You look like you knew."

I shook my head. "Only hoped." I answered. "When they were all getting carted away today Tig winked at me in a way that I somehow knew was meant to be reassuring, like everything was going to plan. And then when Stahl was so much more arrogant than usual I guess I hoped they wouldn't let her get away with it."

Mom nodded with a smile. "Your a smart woman Kat. Sometimes I think you're better cut out for this gig than I am."

"I learned everything from you Mom. No one is better cut out for this place than you." I said sitting on the bed beside her.

"Your more intuitive than I am Kat. This blindsided me today." She placed her arm around me and pulled me toward her and placed a kiss on the top of my head. I knew Mom liked being in control of things around here or at last feeling like she was.

"There's been so much going on Mom, with Abel and your arrest and Tara and I being kidnapped, hell I'm not surprised it flew under your radar." I tried to reassure her.

She gave me a small smile before she changed the subject. "So you and Tig,"

I sighed. "What about me and Tig?"

"If he was trying to reassure you with that look today, he cares about you."

I sighed again. "You saw what went down between us before that Mom. He hasn't changed."

"You can't expect him to Kat. You love the man for who is not what you can make him into."

"I guess I don't really want to change him Mom. All I want is honesty. We laid it all out last night and I thought we were back on the same page again. We addressed everything and I really thought it could work but when I found out he was going inside and not from him ..."

"I know how much that would have hurt sweetheart but I also know how much he loves you Kat. Give him another chance baby."

"Jesus Mom. How many chances can I give him?"

"You know your father and I saw you both talking out in the lot today. I really think he wants to make it right this time baby."

I sighed remembering back to the sincerity I'd seen in his eyes. Maybe she was right. I knew it had been hard for him addressing our past the night before. I'd seen remorse in his eyes especially when I'd brought up the baby and how he'd coped or hadn't back then.

"I don't know Mom." I said as I began to move off her bed carefully so as not to wake Abel who still slept in her arms.

"Go visit him sweetheart." She said. I knew it was more a gentle suggestion than an order but I couldn't help but feel everyone else felt they knew better than me about where Tig and I were headed.

"Yeah maybe." I answered as I stood up. "I'm think I'm gonna head home. Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yes sweetheart. I'm fine." She answered smiling down at her grandson. "We'll get through this next year sweetheart. You'll see."

I wasn't sure if she was talking to Abel or me, or both of us but I smiled and agreed with her even though I was pretty sure she wasn't expecting an answer.

* * *

I shut off the faucet of my kitchen sink later that evening, having just filled it to do the dishes when a familiar commanding knock sounded out against my front door. I placed the dish cloth aside and grabbed a towel to dry my wet hands as I headed toward the door to let Happy in.

"Hey." he greeted me as I opened it.

"Hey." I answered back. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked recognizing his demeanor as club related rather than a booty call.

"Jax asked me to stop by and check up on you. Make sure you're aware of what went down and that he's not in any kinda trouble inside."

"Yeah I know." I answered as I moved aside for him to come in. "So why weren't you carted away with the rest of them today?" I asked as he sidled past me.

"I was up in Tacoma the night they raided an evangelical family night with AK-47's."

"Wow. Okay." I answered both a little shocked that they had done that and that he was so forthcoming with the information. "So they're in for fourteen months."

"Yeah. Should be." He answered as he sat down next to the kitchen counter as I headed back to the sink. I submerged my hands into the sink and remained silent, deciding to let him elaborate on anything he felt the need to. I was tired after today, confused about everything going on between me and Tig and just plain over being involved with the club again. Everything that had gone on today was everything that I'd been glad to get away from.

"What's with you and Tig?" He asked suddenly.

I turned from the sink not sure if I'd heard envy in his tone. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"You've got history with 'im Kat and you slept with him last night."

"Yeah and then I found out today he's gonna be inside for over a year from Mom, not him."

"But you sleeping with him, does that mean you're with him again?"

"I don't know Happy. It's complicated I guess. Why are you asking anyway? You jealous or something?" I asked only half joking.

"I just don't wanna see you hurt so bad all over again."

I sighed. "I need your honest opinion Hap."

He raised his eyebrows at me indicating that I should continue.

"Do you think I can trust him?"

"That's a pretty loaded question Kat." He answered. I began to see he was skirting around something.

"So?" I pressed him.

"I think you have to take him as he comes. You wanna get involved with him again you know what you're getting this time round."

I sighed knowing his words were right. "I'm not a naive teenager anymore Happy. I guess what's holding me back is what happened the last time."

"You're a smart girl Kat. I'm sure this time round you'll put him in his place."

"There's just so much betrayal there though Hap. So much that we haven't addressed."

"So refusing to visit him for over a year isn't really a great option is it?"

My eyes flicked up to meet his. I'd been unaware that he'd witnessed the exchange between myself and Tig earlier. "I was angry when I said that."

"You should visit him Kat. Figure out what there is between you."

"Yeah. I suppose." I sighed leaning against the kitchen counter toward him, closing some of the distance that was between us.

"I don't wanna overstep any boundaries should he feel that your his again."

I glanced up at him again finally seeing the direction this conversation was taking. I bit my lip before I spoke again. "Is us more than sex to you Happy?" I asked searching his dark eyes that were less than a foot away from my own.

"I just don't wanna see you hurt again Kat." He said sitting back on his stool and away from me.

"But that's not what you just said." I pressed him. "You said you don't wanna overstep any boundaries with Tig."

"What you and I have has never been about you cheating on him. If you're back with him, that's what it becomes."

"Is that the only reason you're stepping back?" I continued to press. I wanted to know whether or not I was reading too much into this, whether or not our no strings attached sex had become more than that to him.

"I care about you Kat. I'm not gonna be a part of seeing you get hurt."

"So you do think he's gonna hurt me again?"

"You know I'm saying more than just that."

"I don't wanna be caught in the middle of you two." I said quietly knowing that was what he'd meant.

"I think you need to go talk to him." he said standing to head toward my front door.

"Hap?" I called him back.

He turned and raised his eyebrows questioningly at me.

"Thanks." I said. i didn't really know what else to say.

He gave me his uniform nod of acknowledgment as he slipped through the door and closed it behind him.

I sighed as I watched him go. I knew our relationship had become about more than just sex and I knew he knew it too. Letting Tig back in was about more than just whether or not I could trust him again. Whether Happy would admit it or not I knew that part of being with Tig again meant not being with him.

I knew both Mom and Happy were right. I knew I had to talk to Tig and begin gaining some clarity on everything that was spinning around in my mind.


	14. Chapter 14

14/

Between work and helping Mom to keep on top of the running of the garage while she was on house arrest it was nearly a week before I was able to make the trek out to Stockton. I hadn't had another visit from Happy in that time either. I knew he was staying away to avoid any more of my questions; at least until he knew I'd figured things out with Tig.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I got out of my car and closed the door. I walked to the visitor entrance and signed in then all I could do was wait. I hadn't realized just how anxious I was about this visit until now. I watched as he appeared in the doorway and walked toward me.

"Thought you weren't gonna visit me." He smirked as he took a seat opposite me.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "This isn't exactly a friendly visit Tig." I said resolute that I was going to end things once and for all.

He sighed. "Then why are you here?"

"I meant it when I said I can't do this. I can't be with you while your in here but at the same time I know it's not that easy. We have to talk about us Tig and whether or not there is anything worth trying for."

"I meant it when I said I want us to work Kat."

"I know you did but there is still so much that I can't get past."

"Kitty Kat," he sighed as he reached for my hand, "Can't we just start fresh? Even if it's when I get out of here?"

I shook my head. "There's things I need you to know Tig. Things I've never told you about how I always felt about us."

"Sounds heavy."

"Yeah. I guess it kind of is. Being back involved with the club again and being forced to interact with you again, its made me really think about how it used to be; how young I was and where I am now and..." I trailed off my thoughts becoming a jumble in my mind again.

"Write me." he said.

"What?"

"Write me a letter."

"Okay." I said somewhat hesitantly.

"I can tell you've got a lot you wanna say and maybe here isn't the place for it. Write it all down and send it to me."

I nodded. "Yeah okay." I knew he had a point. I'd be able to make more sense of everything if I sat down and wrote about it. "Will you write me back?"

"Got nothin' else to do in here do I?"

I scowled. I should have known not to get a sincere answer from him. I knew I still loved him but I really did question why. He was such a complex individual that I never really knew what I was going to get; charming, sincere Tig or aloof and nonchalant Tig.

"I guess I better go." I said pulling my hand back.

"Thanks for coming Kitty Kat." He said back to charming me again.

"Sure." I said rising from my seat.

"So are you gonna visit again?"

"I don't know. Maybe just let us figure out what all this is through letters first."

He nodded. "yeah okay"

I backed away, giving him a small smile and wave before I turned and walked out the door.

I'd had every intention of telling him everything about how I felt but I'd crumbled. Sitting there in front of him, although I was pretty sure I hadn't let on to him, I'd gotten lost once again in his eyes an I realized a lot of the reason I'd fallen back with him so easily was fantasy. I needed to remember all the reasons it didn't work between us. I knew a lot of it was me and my insecurities that I'd never shared with him, or indeed with anyone.

I drove past the lot on my way home. I had some paperwork to pick up for Mom and was surprised to find it alive with activity, maybe even celebration, with all those who hadn't been sent to jail sinking back more than a beer or two at the picnic tables out side the clubhouse. I noticed a few that I didn't instantly recognize among them too.

"What's going on out there?" I asked Tara who sat behind the desk in the garage office.

"They patched Kozik in and one of the prospects too."

"Oh? I thought they needed Tig's vote?"

"I don't know. There was something about getting Tacoma down for it."

"Righto." I said knowing Tig was going to be none too happy about it. "Is the paperwork Mom asked for there?"

"Yeah. It's this pile here right?" Tara responded picking up a stack of papers to her right.

I flicked through it briefly. "Yeah this looks like it." I said. "I gotta go but I might come by visit you and Abel a little later."

Tara smiled. "Sure Kat. That'd be nice."

I'd never really been too friendly with Tara but to be honest neither of us had really made the effort. I returned her smile and gave a quick little wave as I stepped back out into the lot.

"Kat." I heard Happy's familiar gravelly voice behind me as I headed toward my car. I turned toward him and recognized that familiar spark in his eye.

"Hey." I answered.

"You got a minute?" He asked eying the armload of papers I carried.

"Yeah. Just let me put these in my car." I said unlocking it and placing them on the passenger seat before I joined him.

"You should probably know that we patched Kozik in this morning."

"Yeah. Tara told me." I answered biting my lip hoping he had other plans rather than just telling me about the vote.

"You go see Tig yet?"

I sighed. "Yeah." I knew Happy was loyal and despite that spark in his eye he wouldn't act on any urges he may have until he knew there was nothing between me and Tig.

"And?" He pressed me.

"We still haven't really figured anything out Hap." I said daring to place my hand on his chest. I ached for him and realized how torn up I had now become about the two of them.

He placed his hand against mine and looked down at me his gaze intense. I could tell how much he wanted me. "We're not doing anything until you do."

"Hap, he knows we're not together, not while he's in there."

"But you're still torn up about him and what you really want."

I sighed. I couldn't deny that he was right. The way I was beginning to feel, sleeping with him again before I'd addressed everything going on with Tig was only going to confuse me even more.

I trailed my fingers across his chest briefly trying desperately to quell the heat that continued to rise in my privates. "I need to go." I said quietly.

"Yeah. You should." He said squeezing my hand as he removed it from his chest but not letting it go.

"I'm not reading too much into things am I? There is more than sex going on between us now isn't there?" I asked trying to read his gaze.

"Figure out what's between you and Tig before we talk about it." He said releasing my hand.

I nodded and backed toward my car as he just stood there and watched me. I slid into my car and watched through my rear vision mirror until I'd seen him walk away and join the others in front of the clubhouse again before I turned the key and began reversing out of my spot. I sighed as I drove. I had a letter to write and probably a really long one at that.

* * *

I sat down at my kitchen table, pen in hand and the first page of a blank notebook in front of me. I stared at that blank piece of paper for what seemed the longest time. It was harder than I thought to even start putting it all down; all the things I wanted Tig to know; all the things that had gone unsaid between us for so long.

I didn't even know how to start it. Should I write dear or to? Address him as Tig or Alex?

Finally I settled on Hey Tig, and the rest seemed to flow from there.

 _Hey Tig,_

 _So here I am writing you a letter just like you asked. I can't help but wonder if you'll even read it, but then I guess you have nothing better to do in there hey?_ (I couldn't help but put that little dig in there.)

 _I don't want to do the whole prison romance thing. While your behind bars we're off. Simple as that. As for when you're out I'm not sure about that either. I can't say that I regret being with you again. It was good, great even but at the same time I can see that nothing has changed. I need you to be honest with me Tig. I need you to tell me things including if your going away for a long time. I think that's something I deserve to hear from you._

 _I'm not sure that I was ever really ready to become so heavily embroiled in the whole club thing by being your old lady. I was young and smitten. I was the presidents daughter, you were a tall, dark and handsome stranger. I knew you were forbidden to me and that was what made it more exciting. I fell for you quickly and hard Tig. I trusted you above anyone else in that clubhouse and I know you cared for me and loved me right back. I knew that you would do anything for me, anything to protect me. Hell I know you would even now. That's why your betrayal hurt so god damn much._

 _When I left for college you assured me nothing would change. And for a while it didn't. I loved coming home to you every chance I got. I loved the mornings that we'd spend laying in bed doing nothing else but making love over and over. I loved that you would put everything else on hold whenever I was home and that you'd tell Dad not to include you in any club stuff so that you could spend more time with me. I loved that I was the center of your universe for those small snippets of time that I was home. But then the cracks started to appear. I got home before you one day because I wanted to surprise you. I found the bed all messed up and unmade which was never unusual when you were there on your own but this time it was different. It didn't look like a bed messed just from sleeping. When I went to make it there was hair on the pillow. It wasn't mine. It was long and dark brown, nearly black. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to believe what I knew it meant._

 _For a long time I knew what was happening behind my back when I was away and I kept denying it even to myself. I loved you. You were still so sweet and adoring every time that I was home that I was able to ignore it and fool myself into thinking that it was happening. But then I came back early one weekend and she was still there. Her dark hair bounced against her back as she rode you. I never asked if she was the only one. I always assumed that she wasn't. You told me that she didn't matter. That it meant nothing to you and that it was a one off. I knew you were lying. I'd lost count of how many times I'd found evidence of someone else having been in our bed._

 _Stupidly I stayed with you after I caught you that first time. I believed you when you said it would never happen again. But it did. Many times. But that wasn't even why we ended Tig. We were set to fail from the moment we met. Because of her._

 _Why were they always brunette? Was it because they didn't look like me? Or was it because they didn't look like her? Is that why you cheated? Because every time you fucked me you were reminded of her? I should have known that was all I ever was to you; a replacement of your one true love; a carbon copy if you will. I don't even know her name Tig but I always felt like there was a third person in our relationship and she wasn't even alive. There were so many things you did, so many things you wouldn't do because of your history with her. I've always lived in her shadow never quite measuring up to how perfect she was._

 _I wanted it to work between us Tiggy. I loved you. I loved you so god damn much. Maybe it was because I was so young and you were all I knew. You were everything to me and I wanted to be everything to you. I wanted us to be perfect._

 _And then the baby. I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant. I thought it would be the perfect answer for everything that was wrong in our relationship. I thought that if there was more than just me then all the whores would go away, that you'd become more serious about us. How wrong I was._

 _You accused me of cheating; said it wasn't yours. There was never anyone else Tig. You know that and I'm pretty sure you knew it then too. I know why that pregnancy was so hard for you to acknowledge. It was the final thing that reminded_ _you_ _of her wasn't it? I remember you saying that she was pregnant when she died. You couldn't take history repeating itself any more and you pushed me away. You said horrible things to me Tig. You told me the baby was a stupid mistake. That I'd be throwing my life away. That you didn't need any more kids to stuff up. I hated you for giving me the money to take care of it. You know I refused to do that and you know Mom talked me through it and convinced me that I could do it on my own without your help._

 _I was excited for a new chapter of my life and I thought that perhaps you would come around and warm to the thought of the baby as you watched it grow inside me. And then I miscarried and it was all over. My dreams were crushed. It was the final straw in our already crumbling relationship. You know what happened next. I found you in bed with Ima. I slept with Kozik. You said losing the baby was a good thing because you never wanted it any way. It broke my heart hearing you say that because I know how much you wanted_ _her_ _baby._

 _Our whole relationship was based on a fairytale Tig. A fairytale that would never have a happy ending because it's princess died. The president's daughter was never going to fill that void in your life Tig._ _T_ _hat's why we didn't work out and that's why we never will._

 _Do I still love you? Yes. D_ _o_ _you still love me? I have no doubt that the answer is yes. But the question remains do you love me or what I remind you of?_

 _Love always, Kitty Kat._

It took me just as long to figure out how to sign off my letter as it had to start it. I stared at the page and wondered whether I had the courage to actually send it to him. I knew I had to. I wanted him to know how I'd felt all these years and I wanted him to know why. There was much more than just what had gone down between us but everything that our relationship was. A lie.

I took a deep breath before carefully removing the pages from the notebook. I folded it and placed it into an envelope and sealed it. I'd have to ask Mom how to address it. I knew she was sending letters to Dad. I stashed it into the side of my work bag and then left the room to go shower before work.


	15. Chapter 15

15/

It had been two weeks since I'd sent Tig the letter and still I had no reply. Damn him. If after everything I'd poured into that letter he didn't have the decency to reply then I was going to make him: in person.

I pulled into the parking lot of Stockton State Penitentiary perhaps a little faster than I should have, my tires squealing as I pulled to a stop. I was fuming, the drive out here allowing me to think on everything more. It had been a mistake getting involved with Tig again; a mistake to even think he'd bother replying to my heartfelt letter.

I passed through security and stormed into the visitation room, the heels of my boots clacking dangerously on the concrete flooring. He was already there waiting for me.

"I poured my heart out and you don't even have the decency to reply?" I snarled placing my hands on the table in front of him and not bothering to sit.

He slid an envelope across the table toward me. "I was gonna post it today."

"Yeah. I'll bet you were." I snarled pulling out the chair as I reached down with my other hand to grab the envelope and begin opening it.

"Don't read it now."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Trust me baby. Read it later."

"Fine." I griped as I placed it back down in front of me. "How are things in here?"

"About as good as can be expected." He answered me.

I didn't know what to say so I only nodded. I wanted to know what was in the letter that sat unopened in front of me.

"Happy looking after you while I'm in here?" My eyes flicked up at his words. I knew what he was hinting at.

"He won't come near me till he knows there's nothing between you and me." I answered with a little more spite than I intended.

He sighed. "And do you want him to?"

"Geez Tig. I don't know! I don't know what I want okay?"

"Relax Doll. I just want you to be happy. That's all I want for you. So you do whatever you need to to make that happen. You hear me?"

"Wait. Are you saying you have no problem with Happy and I ..."

He cut me off. "I've never had a problem with what you and Happy have but you need to recognize it for what it is. I know he's part of the reason you're so torn up about us."

I sighed. I couldn't deny his words but it still surprised me that everyone else seemed to know more about what had been going on between me and Happy than I did. I knew my feelings for him had been creeping in and growing stronger for a while now. But I hadn't been aware of just how obvious that had been to everyone else.

"Is there anything about that in this?" I asked placing my hands on the letter in front of me.

"Maybe you should go. Read it in your own time Kat. I don't expect a reply." I looked at him closely and tried to read his eyes. They held the bright blue they got when he was being sincere but there was something else beneath his gaze; regret, maybe remorse. He reached across and took my hand in his as I searched his eyes.

"What does it say Tig?" I asked not sure what I wanted to hear him say.

"Just read it baby."

"Okay." I answered hesitantly.

"You should go." He said.

I could see a tear welling in the corner of his eye as I rose, my hand still in his. "Just know that I loved you baby. Through everything I still loved you."

"I might come visit you again."

"Just read what I wrote before you decide on that." He said letting go of my hand and motioning toward his letter that was in my other.

"Well I guess I'll see you later then."

"Goodbye Kitty Kat." he said quietly. I knew he thought it was the last time that I'd let him call me that.

* * *

I barely waited to open the door of my house before I was tearing the envelope open. I unfolded the letter inside as I pushed the door closed behind me and walked across the room to the dining table. I began reading as I pulled out a chair and sat down.

 _Katherine,_

 _Her name was Kendra. It was before I was even a son so no one around here even knew her. And you were right. She was my world. She meant absolutely everything to me but so do you Kitty Kat. SO do you! I had no idea you felt that way and it broke my heart to read it. The only history I don't want to see repeated is losing you like I did her. There are things I will never do with you because I can't take that risk._

 _Sure you look like her and yes that was why I was originally attracted to you but you soon showed me you were more than just a familiar face. Hell I knew the sass and attitude I should expect from the daughter of Clay and Gemma but you gave me far more than I bargained for Kitty Kat. I knew long before I ever said the words out loud that I loved you._

 _Why were they always brunette you ask? It wasn't so they didn't remind me of you. It was so I felt like an asshole every time I slept with them. So I couldn't fool my mind into thinking I was with you because God knows I wanted it to be you. When you went away to college I thought we'd be okay, that we'd last the distance but every time you came back I felt a little more disconnected, like you'd gained a little more independence each time you were away. Every time you came back there was a little bit more of you gone, a little bit more of us whittled away. But that's no excuse for cheating._

 _I know I hurt you more than anyone else Kitty Kat. I handled everything wrong but it wasn't memories of Kendra that made me do it. I loved you Kat. I still love you now but I knew even then that a life with me wasn't what you needed. You were on the doorstep of achieving your dreams. I know you wanted to be a doctor from a young age. You were always destined for big things baby and I didn't want you to throw that all away. Ask yourself if you'd be where you are now if we'd had that baby._

 _And me. I have two grown daughters. One doesn't want to know me and the other only acknowledges me when she needs money. But you already know that. What you don't know is that I beat myself up about it everyday. What could I have done to make them a more important part of my life? What could I have done to make me a more important part of theirs? I couldn't let that happen again. I couldn't screw up another child's life Kat._

 _But despite all that I knew how much you wanted it. I knew you were hoping I'd change my mind so when you lost it I was angry. Not at you but at me. I thought that if I'd supported you, or once again handled things differently, it wouldn't be happening. I blamed myself for you losing that baby Kitty Kat. It made me see how badly I'd always treated you and that I wasn't what you deserved._ _T_ _hat's why I cheated with Ima. I wanted to push you away. I knew that her reputation went along perfectly with driving that final wedge between us. Hell, she's the club's go to whore for fucking up everything good in our lives. I knew it would hurt you but I also knew that I didn't deserve you. You deserve perfect Kitty Kat and I could never give you that because my own fucked up insecurities._

 _I know you aimed to hurt me right back when you slept with Kozik and we've already spoken about that. I never blamed you for that Kitty Kat. You were acting out of spite. He should have known better though. You were never his to take and a brother never takes anothers old lady._ _T_ _hat's why I could never give him my vote to become Samcro. While I'm pleased that he now is I couldn't give him my blessing. That would have been like telling him I forgave him for s_ _l_ _eeping with you and I'll never do that._

 _I've always loved you for you Kitty Kat. The_ _P_ _residents_ _D_ _aughter was off limits but that beautiful mixture of sass and innocence you gave me on that very first day had me hooked. I knew from that moment that I had to have you. You might have been young but you were far sexier, far more interesting than any woman I'd ever laid eyes on. The color of your hair is where the similarities to Kendra end. You are your own amazing person Kat and it was you I fell in love with,_ _not a memory._ _You should know I would still do anything for you baby._

 _But like I said already Kitty Kat you deserve better. That's why I'm letting you go. You said you can't do this while I'm inside. I get that. I shouldn't have asked you to give us another try baby. You deserve better than me. I know you've been with Happy on and off for years. To think you were scared of him that afternoon that I inked my crow on you. Let him be what I can no longer be._

 _Alex._

* * *

I put the letter down on the table in front of me and wiped a tear from my eye. I hadn't been expecting such raw honesty from him. As much as I loved him and as close as we'd been never once had I realized just how insecure he was. Everything that he was for the club, everything that he had been to me was all a front to hide what had always been bubbling beneath the surface.

I'd bet he had never admitted any of that even to himself before writing it all down. I cast my eyes back over the letter. _Ask yourself if you'd be where you are now if we'd had that baby._ That line pulled at my heartstrings. I couldn't truthfully answer it but I knew where I wanted to be. Exactly where I was now but with an eight year old in tow. I know Mom would have helped me out and made sure I continued my studies. And I'd like to think Tig would have been right by my side too. I quickly pushed the thought from my mind. That's not where I was, that's not what had happened. I didn't like dwelling on it.

I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall as my eyes lingered on his last line. _Let him be what I can no longer be._ I realized that I couldn't let him give up and I couldn't let go knowing what I knew now of everything he'd felt all those years, both the years we'd been together and the years we'd been apart.

I had to see him again and soon.


	16. Chapter 16

16/

I pushed Tig's letter aside and pulled my phone from my bag. I pulled up my text messages and found Happy's name.

 _You busy?_ I texted then quickly hit send before I could rethink it.

 _Not overly._ Came his reply shortly after. I knew I should know better than to expect anything longer from him.

 _Could you come over?_ I texted back deciding not to divulge my reasons why in case I changed my mind.

 _On my way._ My phone pinged with his answer.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes still unsure if I was doing the right thing. I knew Tig's words in his letter were right. He and I could never be what the other needed but did that mean I was ready to plunge myself headlong into something more with Happy. There was no time to dwell on it as I heard his distinct knock against my front door.

I pulled the door open to find him standing on my doorstep pulling his riding gloves off. "What's up?" He asked as he moved past me and into my lounge room.

"I want you to read something." I said motioning to Tig's letter that still lay on the table. He knew my whole history with Tig and I wanted him to read first hand that it was over between us. i think perhaps a part of me also wanted him to read between the lines and realize how heart broken it had made me also.

He crossed the room without a word and cast his eyes downward not bothering to sit and only moving as he pushed aside the first sheet of paper to read the second.

I stood biting my lip waiting for him to finish.

"So it's ended with him?" he asked pushing himself away from the table and turning his attention to me.

I nodded still unsure of what I wanted from this situation. "He's right. We were never right for each other."

"And what do you want us to be?"

"I want it to be like it was before. Just sex. Nothing else."

He nodded slowly as he pushed the letter aside.

"You replied to this yet?" He asked.

I shook my head. "I was gonna go see him."

"Let me know when you have." He said crossing back toward the door.

"Yeah." I said as his hand reached for the door. "I'll call you or maybe come past the clubhouse?" I left my response hanging in the air like a question.

"Yeah. Whatever you want." He answered aloofly.

I knew he was being distant because he didn't want to address any rising feelings between us and I was okay with that because I wasn't ready to either. I meant what I'd said. I wanted to go back to how it had been – no strings attached sex. I didn't want any further emotional attachment to the club aside from family and I hoped that he understood that.

I stood in my doorway and watched him mount his Harley and place his helmet on his head. He didn't look back as he left my driveway and for that I was grateful. I wanted so much to leave behind the emotional investment to the club that being involved with Tig had placed upon me and I didn't want to become so again. I think that was where the appeal of being with Happy lay. Emotion wasn't his strong point and right now that suited me just fine.

* * *

"Tiggy." I said quietly as I sat opposite him the following day, watching him sit with his face in his hands. I reached out and touched his arm. He looked up and met my gaze as he dropped one hand and took mine in his other. I knew he hadn't been expecting me to visit and probably wasn't ready to lay all his demons out for me to see in the flesh. "I had no idea you were so torn up inside." I continued.

"There were a lot of things neither of us addressed Kitty Kat."

"I really wanted us to work Tig but I know that's not what we both need."

"What do we need baby?"

"I think you already know the answer to that."

"Not each other."

I nodded slowly. "We bring out the best in each other Tig but clearly also the worst."

It was his turn to nod. "I loved you for what you made me forget about myself Kitty Kat."

"And I loved you for how special you made me feel even if I did think it was because of her."

"Kendra had nothing to do with it baby."

"That's the first time I've heard you say her name."

"It was never about you measuring up to her baby."

"I know that now. I never expected such raw honesty Tig."

He met my gaze. "I knew I had to finally be honest with you Kat. Like I said you deserve better than what I can give you."

"Tiggy. It kills me hearing you say that."

"It's the truth baby."

"Look Tig I've been thinking a lot about your letter these past few days. We loved the idea of each other. We loved what the other brought to our lives but in doing that we suppressed everything we didn't want to be. It's not about you not being able to give me what I deserve Tig, it's about you being able to move on from your past and realize that you're more than what it represents in your life."

"Our baby was my second chance wasn't it?" He asked suddenly.

"I don't know Tig. Maybe. I sometimes think about where we'd be if I hadn't lost it but I believe that everything happens for a reason. I think perhaps it was the catalyst to pushing us in the direction we should always have taken."

"I don't regret us Kitty Kat, not for a second."

"I don't either Tiggy. I loved what we had but I think perhaps we're not destined to be the cure of each others demons."

He took my hand in both of his and raised it to his lips. "I wish I could be what you need Kitty Kat."

"I wish I could be what you need too Tiggy but there's someone else out there for both of us."

"I hope you're right Kat." He said as his lips lingered on the back of my hand. I saw the torture hiding behind his gaze and I knew the toll everything that had happened in his life up to this point had taken on him. Hell I knew I was probably contributing to that in ending things like this but I knew that his words in his letter were somewhat right. It wasn't so much that he couldn't give me what he felt I deserved it was more that I wasn't the right person to help him recognize his own worth.

As I left Stockton that day I knew I'd done the right thing but I think there was also a part of me that knew it would never be completely over between Tig and I. We'd been too close for too long.

As I got into my car and heard the engine purr to life I took a deep breath and hoped that Happy would be at the lot later that afternoon. I had someone else I wanted to talk to first.


End file.
